Naturally no two people are going to have the same exact ideas when it comes to what constitutes a good relationship, but there are some things just about everyone can agree are absolute musts. Good sex and plenty of it is definitely one of those. However, sex is often the thing that’s the hardest to get just right when it comes to most relationships, even if the two people involved are a great fit for one another.
Even so, there’s a lot you can learn from observing how those getting it right are doing things. The following are just a few of the most important traits the sexiest, hottest couples tend to have in common. Which ones remind you of yourself and your partner?
- They talk openly about sex.
Chances are you’ve already been told by everyone from your mom to the latest issue of Cosmopolitan that communication is the key to a great relationship. While this is certainly true, it’s worth noting that it’s also a big deal when it comes to your sex life.
Great couples sex is everything that it is because the two people involved are not only comfortable talking about sex, but make it a point to do so often. They openly discuss what they like and what they don’t like, as well exchange ideas about things they’d like to try in the future. They’re good about giving their partner kind but informative feedback about sex as well.
- They’re super confident.
Confidence really is the key to getting what you want out of life. It’s essential when it comes to getting ahead at work. It makes all the difference when it comes to your social life. It’s hugely important when it comes to your sex life as well, even if you’re with someone you know, love, and are comfortable with.
People that don’t feel confident in themselves and aren’t comfortable in their own skins have a lot less sex as a rule. They may find it hard to be naked in front of their partner or worry about how they look and sound in the throes of passion. If confidence is an issue for you, start looking for ways you can improve the way you feel about your body and yourself in general. It’ll definitely help your sex life.
- They spend lots of time together.
Here in the 21st century, people have a tendency to think they can have it all if they just burn the candle at both ends, but in reality the opposite is true. Struggling to maintain a jam-packed schedule with nearly every minute of every day spoken for not only leaves you exhausted, but also leaves you with little time to connect to your partner.
Lack of quality time spent together is the killer of intimacy. Without intimacy, your sex life as a couple will definitely suffer. Even if you lead a really busy life, it’s still essential that you make your partner a priority and spend a bare minimum of 30-60 focused minutes together every single day (and more if at all possible). What you do is up to you and it doesn’t have to be sexual in nature. Even just talking, cuddling, or chatting about a TV show you both like counts.
- They have the same sleeping habits.
What’s the usual bedtime routine for you and your partner? Do you typically make it a point to hit the sack together or are there lots of nights when one of you goes to bed while the other stays up working, surfing the web, or watching television instead? If it’s the latter, there’s a good chance it’s part of the reason you’re not having better sex.
Sexual couples that get down and dirty on the regular make it a point to turn in for the night at the same time. Not only does that make sex a lot more likely to happen in the first place, but both partners tend to report greater degrees of happiness with their relationship in all areas.
- They love to get creative in the bedroom.
It might be tempting to think that when two people are happy in a relationship, passion in the bedroom just takes care of itself. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. Sexy couples understand that falling back on the same old positions and the same tired routines eventually leads to emotionless, boring sex.
Instead, they go out of their way to experiment, try new things, and keep things fresh in the bedroom. They’re always on the lookout for new places to have sex and new positions to try. They roleplay. They bring toys into the bedroom and use them in creative ways. They make it a point to stay excited about sex and see to it that their partner feels the same way they do.
- They take turns initiating sex.
In the great majority of relationships, the same partner almost always is the one to get the ball rolling when it comes to sex while the other simply decides whether or not they’re up for it. This can quickly lead to boredom and stagnation for obvious reasons. To begin with, no one likes to feel like their partner never desires them enough to actively seek out sex. Also, it’s easy for resentments and frustrations to develop, especially if the initiating partner tends to get rejected a lot.
Couples that are very sexual sidestep obstacles like these by being equally proactive when it comes to initiating sex. They realize that it’s exciting and important both to feel desired by your partner and to be bold enough to be the one to get things started on occasion. They’re also both receptive to the idea of having sex pretty much anytime and anywhere. When both partners not only feel that way, but realize their partner feels the same, sex is both more frequent and more satisfying. Using sex toys such as fancy vibrators, cock rings or anal lubes and dildos should definitely improve your sex life big time and make it more enjoyable.
- They don’t wait to consider sex until they’re “in the mood”.
The average person can probably tell you countless stories about sexual encounters that didn’t happen with a partner because someone wasn’t “in the mood” at that exact moment in time. In relationships where that’s said (or heard) a lot, there’s almost always something lacking in the sex department and with good reason.
Sexy couples know that if you wait for both parties to magically be in the mood at the exact same time, sex really doesn’t happen very often (if at all). This is even more the case once there are high-powered careers, children, or busy social lives involved. Instead of eschewing the idea of sex altogether the next time you’re not “in the mood”, consider seeing if a little foreplay helps you get where you need to be.
- They divide responsibilities equally between them.
In case you need any further proof that feminism is a seriously good thing for men and women alike, it’s worth noting that how partners handle shared responsibility can have a huge effect on their sex life. Highly sexual couples tend to divide household chores, childcare duties, and other such responsibilities evenly between them. It’s not simply one partner doing everything alone all the time.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that doing this successfully means doing everything exactly 50/50 and keeping a tally sheet to ensure everything’s equal. It’s really about each individual’s perception of things. In other words, the goal is for both partners to feel like things are equal and fair, whatever that may happen to mean to them.
- They consider the afterglow period to be fundamentally important.
Sexual satisfaction doesn’t start and stop at doing it often enough. It’s not necessarily all about orgasm either (although that’s certainly part of the equation). How the two of you spend the post-coital period after you’re finished doing the deed is incredibly important as well, especially when it comes to how you communicate.
Snuggling, kissing, hugging, and other similar activities are actually critical when it comes to nurturing a mutual sense of intimacy and happiness in the relationship. In fact, highly sexual couples tend to place as much importance on the post-coital connection as they do the main event.
- They give and take when it comes to pleasure.
Last but certainly not least, sexually satisfied couples will definitely tell you that the real secret to phenomenal sex lies in knowing how to both please and be pleased in return. It’s healthy (and even essential) to be eager to receive pleasure, but it’s important to consider your partner’s needs as well. For instance, lots of people love receiving oral sex but aren’t as interested in giving it or vice versa, eventually leading to problems.
Highly sexual couples love being sexually satisfied. They eagerly accept the pleasure their partner gives and they’re communicative when it comes to what they want. However, they love making their partner lose control and enjoy themselves just as much. Both are fundamentally important when it comes to maintaining a happy, healthy sex life.