If you’re the proud owner of a vibrator or any other sex toy you use regularly, you don’t need to be told that toys really bring a lot to the table when it comes to solo play. In fact, lots of us owe some of our very first and strongest orgasms to one type of sex toy or another. However, while we no longer tend to think of our sex toy use as something to be ashamed of, a lot of us still keep it on the down-low for the most part. Lots of us probably don’t even mention that part of our lives to our partners.
If that’s the case for you, you could be missing out on a wealth of potentially mind-blowing experiences that will change the way you and your partner think about sex for the better. Thousands of couples are learning first hand that sex toys aren’t just great ways to pleasure yourself. They make amazing additions to a healthy shared sex life together as well. Let’s take a closer look at just a few of the reasons why you and your partner should consider exploring the possibilities for yourselves.
- Sex toys can take a lot of the pressure off.
If you’re a woman, the chances are pretty good that you don’t exactly orgasm at the drop of a hat. Sure, you know how to get yourself off, but even the most giving, patient partner might have trouble doing the same. This is especially the case if you’re getting down and dirty in a position that doesn’t include much clitoral stimulation as a rule no matter how great it feels otherwise (i.e. doggy style). In fact most women – more than 70% — actually can’t orgasm unless their clits are part of the mix, so you’re in good company if that’s the case for you.
While orgasms are definitely too good to miss out on, sometimes having one can feel like a lot of pressure, both for you and for your partner. A sex toy can help take some of that pressure off the table by making it a lot easier for you to finish with a bang, so to speak. That way you can focus on simply enjoying the experience instead of worrying about who is or isn’t having an orgasm the entire time. There are even vibrating couples toys that are made to be worn while you’re having sex, making for some seriously awesome hands-free action.
- You can put the possibility of reaching orgasm milestones back on the table.
Not everyone has experienced the joy of multiple orgasms firsthand, but you can bet everyone wants to. Who wouldn’t want more of such a wonderful thing? The same thing goes for the elusive simultaneous orgasm. Adding sex toys to the mix when you’re with your partner drastically enhances your chances of experiencing either phenomenon.
The longer the pressure’s off when it comes to having (or giving) an orgasm, the more “in the moment” you’ll both be allowed to feel when you’re together in general. You won’t just be more likely to finish in general. You’ll be more likely to orgasm multiple times during a given session. If that’s not something to get excited about, we don’t know what is!
- You get to explore new territory together.
If you and your partner have been together a while, you might be tempted to think you’ve already exhausted the possibilities when it comes to sex. We’re here to assure you that’s not even close to the case if you haven’t yet started using sex toys together. Simple vibrating toys are probably the easiest options to introduce into your existing repertoire, but they’re hardly the only ones out there.
Are you and your partner into anal play? Try taking things to the next level with anal beads or butt plugs one day. Always wanted to stage your very own Fifty Shades of Grey pleasure session? Try experimenting with bondage gear like ball gags, leather paddles, whips, or restraints. You can both have a blast exploring costumes, role play, nipple play, and so much more together as well.
Experimenting sexually with your partner doesn’t just keep your sex life from getting too stale either. Exploring new territory, stepping out of your comfort zones, and pushing your boundaries together allows you both to learn more about what really does (and doesn’t) turn you on. Doing this together helps build intimacy and strengthen the sexual bond that’s already there. The couple that plays together stays together!
- Sex toys totally encourage you to try out new positions.
Sometimes even the happiest, most loving relationships can fall into a sexual rut and that’s understandable. Once you find a couple of positions that seem to work like clockwork for everyone involved, you tend to stick with them. You keep meaning to try something new, but then it never quite seems to happen.
The more you explore and experiment with sex toys, the more positions you’ll probably wind up trying in the process. That fact that you don’t have to worry about getting enough stimulation just from friction alone when sex toys are part of the mix will probably open more creative doors as well.
- Sex toys encourage you both to play active roles in the bedroom.
Although this isn’t the case across the board, many couples involve one person that calls most of the shots and another that simply comes along for the ride. These roles tend to follow that couple into the bedroom with one taking a more dominant stance and the other not communicating or participating as much.
Adding sex toys to the mix will encourage both of you to become more communicative and active in the bedroom, especially if you take turns using the toys on each other. You’ll need to tell each other what you want, what you like, what feels good, and what doesn’t. Besides, you might just find you enjoy shedding old roles and trying new ones on for size.
- Mutual masturbation is awesome and everyone should try it.
Your use of sex toys in the bedroom doesn’t have to start and stop at using them on one another. Watching each other masturbate is seriously red hot when it comes to spicing things up in the bedroom. If you’re open to the possibilities, it can be a really educational experience as well.
Watching and being watched during a mutual masturbation session lets you both in on the details as far as how and what the other person needs in order to get off. It makes for fantastic foreplay. Watching your partner get increasingly hornier as they watch you can be a real rush as well.
- It’s a sexually empowering experience.
More people than ever before not only buy and use sex toys, but are very open about doing so. However, although the stigma that states sex toys are just for “lonely” women isn’t anywhere near as strong as it used to be, it’s still there. So is the myth that says all men are intimidated by sex toys and uncomfortable with the idea of their partners using them.
When you introduce sex toys into your own intimate routine, you’re in effect giving an enthusiastic middle finger to all of those outdated stereotypes. You’re showing yourselves and each other that you’re in charge of how you express yourself sexually, both alone and together – a pretty awesome thing no matter how you look at it!
- Shopping for new toys together is a great bonding experience as well.
Bringing the toys you already have into the bedroom and learning to enjoy them together is only the start of your adventures. If you enjoy the initial experience, the two of you might want to consider starting a communal toy chest together. The experience of shopping for and experimenting with items to fill it with is lots of fun.
You don’t necessarily have to shop together at a brick and mortar store unless you want to either. You can just as easily bond over the experience of logging onto your favorite online sex toy emporiums and browsing possibilities together. Plus, sex toys websites are often extremely well-organized, so finding exactly what you’re looking for no matter how new you are to toy play is a simple process. They’re remarkably well stocked with different products as well, so it’s just as easy to imagine new possibilities.
At the end of the day, it’s understandable if you’re a little bit nervous about bringing something you’ve been trained to see as “just for you” into the bedroom with your partner. However, the possible rewards are really too good to miss out on. You’ll get to know each other better, deepen your already strong bond, add spice to your sex life, and explore new possibilities – all amazing things we could all stand to do more of. Get started today!