Haven’t you heard? Sex toys aren’t just for women anymore. What’s more, men are a lot cooler with the idea of them than you might realize. These days, putting unnecessary limits on how you and your partner are allowed to enjoy each other (or yourselves) is out. Opening your world to new possibilities that could have a lot to offer in the bedroom, on the other hand, is the order of the day!
Whether you and your partner have been using toys together for a long time or are only just now thinking about giving it a try, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got plenty of tips, moves, and ideas for you to try the next time you’re in the mood to get busy together with your favorite items.
1. Do your shopping together.
These days, sex toys are the very furthest thing from one size fits all. You literally have hundreds of different options to choose from, which can be overwhelming if either of you is new to the sex toy experience. There are classic options like vibrators and dildos that nearly everyone is familiar with. There are toys designed specifically for couples to use together as well. There are even high-tech toys that use remote control and Wi-Fi tech to take things to even more astonishing levels.
Turn the process of choosing new toys to use together into a bonding experience by visiting your favorite online toy emporium and shopping together. It’s a great way to open up some sexy dialogue about what each of you really likes, as well as what you think you might enjoy. Once you’ve settled on a couple of options, buy a toy or two together and start making plans about how you’ll break it in. Alternatively, one of you could buy something for the other as a surprise.
2. Stock up on plenty of lube.
When it comes to sex, lube is about as close as it gets to a magic elixir that makes everything better on so many levels. It’s not just good for making things go more smoothly when it’s time for you and your partner to get busy. Lube can greatly increase the satisfaction level of solo play as well. It can be an absolute wonder when it comes to toys, so you can and should add it to the mix when it’s time to raid the toy chest.
Just make absolutely sure your lube of choice is actually compatible with your toys. Some silicone-based lubricants are fantastic for flesh-on-flesh sex, but can ruin your silicone-based toys. Consider starting a collection of water-based lubricants for use with your favorite playthings. They’ll work well with just about any sex toy, no problem.
3. Get creative with your vibrators.
Not sure where to start as far as adding sex toys to your intimate life with your partner? Consider starting with what you might already have on hand. Many, many women already own a vibrator that they use to enhance solo play sessions. You don’t have to be a woman to enjoy the pleasure a vibrator can bring though. You don’t have to insert them or use them by yourself either.
Try adding a vibrator to standard missionary sex to get a feel for how you can enjoy the unique sensation together. Just position yourself as you normally would to engage in missionary. Then put the vibrator between the two of you so that you can share the good vibrations as you make love. Trust us when we say it will bring a lot of extra oomph to the table for both of you. This is also a great solution for women that have trouble orgasming during missionary sex, of course.
4. Start slow and then amp things up.
If one of you is completely new to using toys, consider planning a break-in session where you can experiment a little. Are you a gal with a male partner that already knows her way around a vibrator or perhaps already has a collection of sex toys? Consider opening up your toy chest and introducing your partner to each item. Explain what each of them does. Then invite him to choose a toy he’d like to use on you.
Start by letting him watch you use it on yourself. Show him some of your favorite moves and be vocal about how good each one feels. Then invite him to take the wheel and use the toy to finish you off. Not only will a “teaching session” like this be a hot experience for both of you, but your partner will have a better idea what to expect the first time you bring your toy to bed for “together time”.
5. Give a vibrating ring a try.
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with sticking to the standard vibrators and dildos you may be used to, don’t limit yourself to those things unless you really want to. There are quite a few toys that lend themselves too well to partnered sex to be ignored. Assuming at least one of you has a penis, a vibrating ring makes an excellent choice to start with.
The ring is designed to slip comfortably onto the base of the penis and be used during intercourse, providing a fantastically intense experience for both of you. Some models even come with attachments, special texturing, or unique designs that provide an excellent amount of clitoral stimulation to boot. You might even want to try wearing your vibrating ring during anal for a completely new pleasure sensation you’re both sure to enjoy.
6. Add it to the equation before your clothes even come off.
You don’t have to wait to break out a toy like a vibrator until the point where all your clothes come off. It makes for a great way to jazz up foreplay as well. It will definitely get you both excited for the main event.
Try using a small finger-style vibrator to tease your partner and get them thinking about everything else that will be happening shortly by giving them a little buzz through their clothing wherever you think it might feel good. You don’t have to stick to the genitals either. Try running the vibe over their nipples or along the inside of their thigh. Experiment a little until the both of you find some moves you like to give and receive.
7. Let a vibrator take your oral game to entirely new levels.
If your guy is like most, then he probably absolutely loves oral. He also probably thinks there’s no way getting head could get any better than it already is. Why not use your favorite vibrating toy to show him how absolutely wrong he is? Try holding the vibe against your cheek as you take him into your mouth and work your magic. He’ll love the way the familiar, appealing feeling of your wet mouth works with the new and exciting “quivering” sensation the vibe brings to the table. Trust us on that one!
He can use an insertion-style vibe to treat you to an extra special experience the next time he goes down on you as well. Teach him how to angle the vibe as he inserts it so that it stimulates your G-spot (or consider investing in a special G-spot vibrator that makes it easy to hit all the right notes, so to speak). Then let him go to town with his tongue as usual. You’ll both love how intense the combo makes your orgasm.
8. Take cowgirl sex to the next level.
Once your guy gets comfortable with the sensation a vibrator produces when the two of you use it together, consider taking things to the next level the next time you get down cowgirl style. A guy’s perineum is very sensitive. (It’s that little patch of skin between his anus and his scrotum, in case you’re unfamiliar.) It also feels pretty awesome when it’s stimulated by a vibrating toy.
Consider starting small with something non-phallic as far as shape. (Not every guy will be comfortable with it otherwise.) Smaller, egg-shaped vibrators are great choices when it comes to stimulating the perineum. So are finger vibes. Simply hold it behind you against the correct spot as you ride him.
9. Try using toys separately… together.
A lot of people underestimate the value of a good mutual masturbation session and they really shouldn’t. It’s a great opportunity to relax and focus completely on your own pleasure while also sharing intimacy with your partner. Plus, it’s incredibly hot to hear and see your partner enjoying themselves (not to mention enjoying you enjoying yourself).
Bringing toys into the mix is a great way to turn the dial up on an activity that’s already pretty dang fun, if we’re being honest. Naturally, there are lots of toys designed for female pleasure, but it’s worth noting that there are pleasure sleeves and other toys made especially for men as well. Don’t forget to explore these as part of your ongoing sexual adventure together. They deserve a place in any couple’s joint toy chest!