Group sex isn’t just for the hardcore kinksters out there anymore. Threesomes, play parties, and similar options are common fantasies for many people. And more people than you might think are deciding to integrate that fantasy into their actual sex lives.
But what if you’re a beginner? What’s the best way to start exploring group sex for the first time, and how can you make sure your early experiences are good ones? Here’s a closer look at the basics a first-timer should know.
Decide what you want out of the experience
Naturally, there’s a big difference between fantasizing about something and actually doing it. So every journey into group sex should start with a self-assessment session. Is this something you’ll be doing as a swinging single, or do you also have a partner to consider?
What are your boundaries and deal-breakers? Decide whether there’s anything, in particular, you’re hoping to get out of the experience.
Know where group sex enthusiasts meet
If you already know someone who’s into group sex, you should definitely start your journey by asking them for some pointers on how to get into things where you live. And if not, options like sexy apps and online kink communities are excellent places to start.
Kink-friendly apps are especially great ways to meet folks interested in more intimate happenings, like threesomes or some small-scale group sex play at home.
Do your homework
The term “group sex” is an umbrella term that can apply to many different activities – anything from an intimate threesome or mate-swapping session to a full-scale orgy. Even if you’re attending a sex party or an orgy, the rules can vary drastically from one event to the next.
So never make assumptions about what’s on the menu for the evening. If you’re serious about exploring group sex, it’s essential also to get comfortable talking about sex with other people and being proactive about communication.
Consent isn’t optional
When it comes to any kind of intimate play, it’s crucial that everyone involved agrees to anything that could occur beforehand. That said, forget all those movie scenes and porn clips where group sex “just happens” unplanned and without anyone saying a word about it to anyone else involved.
Explicit consent is crucial, especially when playing with people you don’t know well. Always follow the house rules to the letter when attending parties and events. And when you’re playing on your own, talk things through first to ensure everyone is on the same page before you start. There should be ground rules and safe words in play, at the very least.
Make safety a priority
Again, don’t let the movies fool you into thinking nobody really uses condoms when they’re getting down and dirty with more than one person. Ask any dedicated group sex enthusiast, and they’ll tell you that safety is a major priority.
Condoms should be used religiously and changed every time someone switches from penetrating one person to another. They should be used to protect vibrators, dildos, and other toys people might use together, as well. Consider keeping bowls filled with condoms, dental dams, single-use lube packets, and more out where everyone can quickly grab more as needed.
It’s not possible to do it “wrong”
Beyond logistics like having safe sex and making sure consent is enthusiastic and continuous, there’s no one “right” way to have group sex. It’s important to make sure everyone involved feels included, especially if you’re the host. But don’t be afraid to let loose, enjoy the moment, and do what comes naturally.
You don’t necessarily have to actively participate at all times (or at all), either. Many people love to spend some or all of their play session watching other people get down and dirty with each other while they masturbate or take a breather.
Know your group sex size preferences
Although most people start exploring group sex with threesomes or mate-swapping, it’s not uncommon for them to want to branch out eventually and explore larger gatherings. But it’s essential to understand how play happens at a sex party or an orgy.
Things may start with whole huge groups of people writhing around together. But larger groups tend to separate naturally into smaller groups and even twosomes. So decide what you’re comfortable with and enjoy doing most before you arrive. And be courteous about joining play in progress. Read people for signals that they’re open to including others, and then ask first before joining in.
Ultimately, having great group sex has more in common with standard socializing than you might figure. Know your boundaries, respect other people’s, be safe, and always err on the side of common courtesy when you’re not sure. You’ll be glad you did.
