My vagina amazes me.
The first time I ever heard about squirting was in a book we read in ninth grade. Two men went to a prostitute's apartment, and while one man was eating her out, the other man was contemplating why he ever stopped seeing this particular prostitute.
Right when the woman was about to cum, the man realized it was because she had previously squirted in his face. Before he could "warn" his friend, his face was already covered in her juices. They then both left in disgust.
Clearly, my introduction to squirting was not a good one, and I kept this negative notion in my mind while watching porn stars perform. People would just blow it off as "fake" or "pee," and I believed them.
Well, that was until I discovered the sex blogger community. Not only are there so many inaccurate myths about squirting trying to control women's sexuality but also there are so many bloggers who squirt. And squirt often! After realizing squirting was a real thing, I just knew I had to try.
(Spoiler alert: I have the ability to squirt.) Here's what I learned about my vagina during my adventures of squirting:
1. It takes a lot of mental prep.
I would never have been able to learn how to squirt without actually researching "squirting." First, I had to break a few myths about squirting before I was fully comfortable attempting it. Second, I had to read about techniques. Where should I try to stimulate? What feelings should I be experiencing? What should I expect?
It surprisingly takes a lot of mental preparation more than anything. Researching what to do made me more comfortable about the topic, and this is essential. I also learned a lot about vaginas and how they work.
2. I require a sex toy to squirt.
The G-spot is a major player in the story of squirting. While I can reach my G-spot with my fingers (or my partner's fingers), I have only been successful at squirting with the help of a G-spot targeting sex toy. Most notable: The classic Lelo Ella.
For me, there's a certain consistency of target stimulation that I need on my G-spot, helped by ease of thrusting. My fingers have not yet grown the ability to do this (I blame muscle fatigue). I also happen to be someone that needs clitoral stimulation at the same time. Not everyone will need this, but I most definitely do.
Whether it's a vibrator, my fingers or my partner's mouth, it just has to be happening. While trying to squirt, I discovered new pleasure centers and learned facts about what makes my body tremble.
3. Relaxation is essential.
Trying to squirt was actually the worst thing for my squirting abilities. I would be so focused on the desire to spout juices that I wouldn't be properly relaxed. It's kind of like being put on the spot to say a joke — you're just not going to end up being funny. It's much better if a joke naturally happens during a conversation.
Same concept for squirting. If we're hoping for me to squirt, it just isn't going to happen (and that's OK). My partner and I tried for many weeks to get me to squirt with no avail (but lots of wonderful orgasms, so not all was lost). It was only when I had resigned to the idea of squirting that I actually did.
Having researched all the techniques, I was able to acknowledge the build up and kept my body relaxed (with a small little push), and voilà! I squirted! I learned not to focus on a goal and just enjoy the whole process. Clearly, that made my vagina very happy.
4. Everyone squirts differently.
I didn't spray like a fountain. Although I would love to see the look of pure joy on my partner's face if I ever did that, it just probably isn't going to happen for me. I know of people who make big puddles and need to put towels down for protection, and that sounds freaking awesome. I'm a tiny squirter, and for me that's perfectly OK.
The feeling of release when I squirt is enough for me. Whether you never squirt, you're a little squirter like me, or you're a soaker, what matters is that you're enjoying yourself. Just like there's no right way to orgasm, there's no right way to squirt. I learned that everybody is different and not to compare yourself to others.
5. Squirting turns me on.
I personally love when I squirt. I'm not one to be shy of bodily fluids, and I find that this can add an extra dimension. If you love when semen (whether real or synthetic) is involved in sexual activities, then you're probably going to enjoy letting your vulva and bed get messy.
There's something sexy about letting your body be pleasured into release. Even if it's just me in my bedroom with some lube and a sex toy, I just love that my body can do this. It isn't consistent, it isn't on demand, it isn't often — but when it happens, it's hot as hell. There are always new things to try; you never know what you might like.
6. The more you force it, the less chance it'll happen.
My views on squirting started off negatively, but with proper sex education it has become something I can do and truly enjoy. For a long time, I never thought my body was able to do this. I tried and tried with no result, until finally I stopped worrying about it — and it happened!
Of course, this makes me realize how much more there is to learn about myself — both about my body and my brain. What feels good for someone else isn't necessarily going to feel good for you, and that's OK. It's all about trying new things and learning what works for you.
The best part about having more to learn? It means a whole lot of solo sessions with myself, and that's never a bad thing.