While there’s certainly something to be said for adding the right sex toy to your solo play routine, you’re really missing out on something special if you’re not using toys with your partner as well. Toys can greatly enhance any sexual experience for either partner or both of them at once, giving you a wealth of new experiences and sensations to explore together.
Even so, it’s one thing to know you’re ready to make the jump from just thinking about using toys together to actually doing it. It’s another to actually know where to start. Here we’ll go over everything you need to know to get the most out of your first experiences. We’ll make some choice suggestions as to which options are the best places to start based on what you’re looking for as well.
The Basics of Getting Started
If you’ve never used sex toys with your partner before, it’s natural and normal to have a lot of questions about how to bring it up and where to start if the other person turns out to like the idea. While there are no hard and fast rules to follow, keeping a few basic steps in mind can help you find your way through the process.
1. Just talk about it.
Although spontaneity in the bedroom is awesome, it’s probably not the best way to introduce something like a toy into the mix. After all, not everyone is comfortable using toys and those that are still appreciate a heads up before trying something very new.
That said, the best way to approach things is to simply sit down with your partner and open the topic up for discussion to make sure they’re 100% cool with the idea. If they’re hesitant, it’s fine to ask why and talk your way through the reasons, but never pressure someone that just isn’t into it. Not everything is for everybody!
2. Figure out what exactly you want to try.
Once you and your partner have both agreed that bringing toys into the bedroom is an idea you each like, it’s time to figure out what options you’re most interested in. Take turns discussing what you’d each like to get out of the experience of using a toy together and go from there.
Are you looking for something to help a man last longer or make it easier for a woman to orgasm during intercourse? Do you want something interactive you can experiment with together? Are you looking to start exploring anal play, BDSM, or roleplaying? There are toys capable of helping with all of those things and more, which we’ll get into in a moment.
3. Shop for toys as a couple.
While it’s fine if one of you wants to simply pick something out once you’ve both discussed things, it’s important to note what a great bonding experience shopping for toys together can be. It makes it easier to wind up with something you’re both equally excited about trying as well.
Start by browsing a little bit online. Most online sex toy shops will have an entire section dedicated just to couple’s toys, so that’s a great place to start the search. Those are hardly the only toys you can use together though. In actuality, any sex toy is appropriate for use as a couple, so don’t eschew something you both like the idea of simply because it’s not specifically marketed to couples.
Once you’ve used the toy (or toys) you picked out together, make sure you take the time to communicate afterwards. Sometimes a given option sounds great on paper, but doesn’t quite do the job in reality. One or both of you might discover you want something with stronger vibrations or simply wish to try a different type of stimulation. It’s all part of the process of figuring out what you both enjoy, both individually and as a couple.
Which Toys to Consider First
While there are no limits on the number of toys you might want to add to your collection eventually, some options may be better first experiences for some couples than others. Keep the following options in mind as you shop together for some insight into what to consider.
For a No-Pressure First Experience
Not every couple is ready to go straight for the butt plugs, the paddles, or the mega-deluxe sex toy kits right away. Some folks like to ease into things and don’t want there to be a lot of pressure to get really wild right off the bat.
If that sounds like you, your partner, or both of you, try a classic wand massager on for size. It’s made to do double duty as a massager and a sex toy, so you’re free to start with a massage for your aching muscles and take things downtown only if you decide you’re both comfortable. Wand massagers can also double as a solo toy for either one of you if you prefer.
For Foreplay Lovers
Sex toys don’t have to be part of the main event. Lots of couples prefer using them just during foreplay as a way to get things going and that’s perfectly fine. Try something versatile like a finger vibe, a bullet vibrator, or a vibrating egg.
Small, powerful vibrators like these can be used in a variety of ways and are capable of stimulating pretty much every body part. Use them to give a tingle to his shaft or scrotum, as well as her clitoris, nipples, or inner thighs. They can be great ways to help either partner along in the pleasure department during intercourse, oral sex, or anal sex as well. It’s all up to you, so just be creative!
For Buzzworthy Intercourse
Lots of couples love what a vibrating toy brings to the table. However, they want something that lets them enjoy a pleasant buzz during intercourse without the toy having to be held in place by a free hand or two.
Try a horseshoe-shaped wearable couple’s vibrator like the We-Vibe. You’ll enjoy a sleek fit that’s just right for the experience you’re looking to have. She’ll certainly enjoy ample stimulation to both her G-spot and her clitoris, but don’t underestimate the value of a few good vibrations for him either. Most options feature multiple vibration modes, making it easy to finetune each experience to suit both of you.
For Fantastic Erection Enhancement
There are awesome erections capable of getting the job done and then there are the epically rock-hard ones every guy dreams about achieving. If the two of you would love an easy way to give him the biggest, hardest erections possible, you’ll definitely want to consider trying a cock ring on for size.
Cock rings are designed to fit comfortably but snugly around the base of the penis or around both the penis and testicles at once. Not only does this produce an interesting sensation in and of itself, but it keeps his cock super hard and huge. It helps him last longer as well. There are even vibrating cock rings available that bring the additional benefits of a bullet vibe to the table.
For Long-Distance Lovebirds
These days, there are any number of reason why a given couple might have to spend more time apart than they like. Some may be involved in long-distance relationships with people living too far away to get together but so often. Others may be trying to balance high-powered careers with the ever important healthy sex life. Sure, video chat and phone sex are great, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could enjoy something even more interactive?
You might want to try a remote controlled sex toy on for size. Such toys operate via a handy smartphone app, making it possible for one partner to use the toy and the other to control it from anywhere whether that’s across the room, across town, or the other side of the country. There are even pairs of sex toys that synch with one another, allowing each partner to “feel” what the other is doing wherever they might be.
For Trying a Little of Everything
Let’s say you’re both not necessarily sure what you’d like to try first, but you’re each very open to trying a couple of different experiences right off the bat. Lots of sex toy manufacturers sell full-scale sex toy kits that contain a sampling of their best options.
Although what’s included varies from kit to kit, many options will include a wearable couple’s vibrator, a smaller vibrator like a bullet for a little extra stimulation, some lube designed to go with all included items, and possibly a couple of other little treats too. It’s a great way to mix and match, as well as get a new toy collection off to a good start.
Remember, there are no wrong ways to start exploring sex toys as a couple. If something sounds like a good time to the both of you, go for it! Don’t be afraid to mix things up and get creative as well. We promise you’ll both be glad you did!