12 Things He Definitely Wants From You in Bed
(But Probably Won’t Ask For)
Whether you’re already committed to someone special or having an absolute blast playing the field, it’s only natural to want a sex partner to leave your bed satisfied. However, while it’s true that no two men are exactly alike, men in generally are a lot easier to please than you might think. In other words, you don’t need to jump through a lot of hoops or turn into a walking, talking version of his favorite porn star. You don’t need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable either.
Keeping him happy and engaged in the bedroom is really more about being confident and liberated as far as your overall approach to sex. It’s about owning your own pleasure and enjoying yourself as well. And yes, if your guy is like most, he definitely wants the occasional blowjob (but you knew that already). The following are just a few more things he’d love to see from you in the bedroom, but most likely won’t ask you for outright.
- He wants you to take control.
The 1950’s were a long time ago, so men no longer expect women to wait for them to make the first move. In fact, most are really turned on when women take the initiative themselves and wish they’d do it more often. That said, if you want to touch him, kiss him, tear his clothes off, or jump his bones, go for it. He definitely wants you to, especially if you usually wait for him to take the lead.
- He wants you to break up your routine.
As incredible as sex can be, things can get pretty boring if you don’t mix it up often enough. Everyone craves variety, energy, and spontaneity and your man is no different in that regard. If you feel like your sex life has become too routine lately, it’s time to surprise him. Treat him to a quickie on his lunch hour or a little oral when he least expects it. Initiate sex at different times and under different circumstances as well (e.g. in the mornings or out in public).
- He wants you to cum.
While selfish men who don’t care about their partner’s pleasure are out there, they’re definitely not the norm. Most men not only want to give you an orgasm, but consider it profoundly important and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Chances are you already know what you need in order to achieve your own big O, so it’s time to ask for that in bed too. Whether that’s some amazing oral or a helping hand from your favorite vibrator, you might be surprised at how eager your guy is to give it a try if it means making you cum.
- He wants you to get handsy.
Men love it when women are active, engaged, and physical in the bedroom. They especially like it when a partner puts her hands to good use, so don’t resist the urge to reach out and touch him. Run your fingers through his hair or give it a tug if it’s long enough and the spirit moves you. Grab his butt, wrap your arms around him when he’s on top, or enjoy the feeling of his arm muscles flexing under your fingertips. Not only does it let him know you’re totally into what’s going on, but it can be pretty arousing for you too.
- He wants you to share your fantasies.
Even in 2018, women can be pretty bashful about sharing their fantasies with their partners. Forget about actually asking for help making any of them come true! That’s exactly why men think it’s such a turn-on when a woman is unafraid of telling him what she fantasizes about. Is there something you saw in a porn clip or a sexy movie recently that you’d love to take for a spin? Maybe you’ve got a couple of pet fantasies you’ve had since your teens years. Tell him all about it and see how he feels about making it happen for you. We promise he’ll be all ears.
- He wants you to be nonjudgmental.
You’re not the only one that secretly worries about being judged for your bedroom performance, your body, or your desires. The man in your life absolutely worries about the same things and he’d like nothing more than a loving, open-minded partner who’s willing to put his mind at ease. He wants to be able to ask for things he likes without worrying that you’ll think it’s gross or imply there’s something wrong with his likes and dislikes. He definitely wants you not to assume it’s about you if he loses his hard-on.
- He wants you to be prepared for sex.
Preparedness might seem like the last thing that would turn a man on about a woman, but it really shouldn’t be. The average man is used to having women assume he’ll be the one to buy the condoms or bring up the topic of safe sex in the first place. Women that openly take responsibility for their sexual health and always come prepared with a condom or two are a refreshing change of pace. Once again, the 50’s are long behind us, so there’s no need to worry about making the wrong impression.
- He wants you to leave the light on.
If the idea of getting down and dirty with a man in a fully lit room gives you the jitters, you’re not alone. Historically speaking, women are often insecure about their bodies or their “O faces” and worry about how they look when they’re having sex. However, men are extremely visual and most would love nothing more than to soak up the sight of your face and body while the two of you are going at it. That said, he’d definitely love it if you put your insecurities to bed and left the light on every so often. Sexual confidence is a serious turn-on!
- He wants you to make him feel sexy and manly.
Don’t simply take it for granted that your guy knows he rocks your world when you’re in bed together. Not only does he need to hear it from time to time, but he wants to hear it. No, you don’t need to gush on and on about what an amazing lover he is every five seconds (or even every time you make love). However, you should let him know once in a while that you love the way he feels when he’s inside you or that you think he’s hot. Everyone likes to know their partner desires them and thinks they’re sexy.
- He wants you to make a little noise.
There are definitely guys out there that prefer absolute silence when they’re having sex, but you probably already know whether your guy is one of them. Most men are super turned on when their partners make noise in the bedroom. Not only is a little moaning, screaming, or audible gasping really hot in and off itself, but it’s something the guy can use to determine how well what he’s doing is working. You don’t necessarily have to be a full-on screamer to get the message across either. Soft moans or a well-timed “oh yeah” can be just as effective.
- He wants you to wear lingerie.
Don’t worry. Your guy doesn’t expect to you to look model perfect in your underwear or wear anything totally crazy. However, he loves seeing you in lingerie and yes, he definitely notices what you wear underneath your clothing. You can easily keep him happy by putting some extra thought into your intimate wear. Skip the granny panties in favor of something lacy and sexy in a color you know he loves you in. Trade your flannel nighties and torn t-shirts in for some satiny separates or naughty teddies as well. Choosing a few special items for important occasions or extra-romantic weekends certainly wouldn’t hurt either.
- He wants you to enjoy foreplay.
It’s a common misconception that men only engage in foreplay for their partners and don’t particularly enjoy it themselves, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone likes a hot and heavy quickie once in a while or to cut right to the chase when they’ve just got to have it now. The rest of the time though, why not slow it down a little bit instead? Let him touch you, kiss you, and turn you on. He wants to do it. He also loves it when you return the favor.
Naturally, every man is going to be a bit different, so don’t sweat it if yours isn’t into absolutely everything on this list. However, it’s important to understand that men and women have more in common in the bedroom than you might otherwise think. Just play things by ear until you find what works for the both of you.