9 Sexual Topics We Should Really Be Discussing More Often
Even here in the 21st century, sex is still something of a mixed bag as far as casual, everyday discussion goes. Everyone loves it. Everyone wants it. Almost everyone is getting better at talking openly about it. However, some topics are still considered a little bit too taboo to talk about in polite company, let alone admit to being super into yourself. That hardly means you don’t still need some answers though.
The following are just a few sexual topics that nearly everyone is at least curious about, but usually won’t discuss openly. Which ones have your attention? Which have always been points of curiosity for you or for your partner?
- Casual Sex
Even those of us that prefer traditional relationships have a natural curiosity about no-string-attached sex enjoyed outside of the need or desire for commitment. However, more people have actually had meaningless, casual sex than you might think. According to a survey conducted by Adam & Eve, about 70% of all Americans have had at least one one-night stand before. Most of that 70% have actually had a handful of them and 9% have had more than 20.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having (and loving) casual sex either. As you can see, it’s literally something most people have done at one time or another whether they talk about it or not, so you’re definitely in excellent company if you prefer the no-strings-attached approach to sex yourself. Just make sure you’re also being sexually responsible and using protection.
- Sexual Dysfunction
It’s not hard to understand why sexual dysfunction is considered a taboo topic. It’s something many are embarrassed to admit to struggling with, especially men. The majority of people tend to at least partially define themselves by the quality of their sex lives, so if something’s not working the way that it should, their self-esteem and relationships can be affected by it.
Sexual dysfunction isn’t always physical. Sometimes its root cause is mental or emotional, but that hardly makes the condition any less real or valid. The good news is that whatever the cause, sexual dysfunction is relatively easy to treat once you get to the bottom of things. Never be afraid to seek out treatment or medical advice if you need it.
- Oral Sex
Whether they’re total givers or really more into receiving, oral sex is something that’s on most people’s sexual menu these days. We’re also much better at discussing whether or not we have it, like it, or crave it. However, the average person still has a lot of questions about oral, especially since the experience is very different for women as compared to men.
While it’s true that most guys love blow jobs and would love to receive more of them, attitudes toward oral sex can vary drastically between women. Many women love it, of course. However, there are plenty of others that say it makes them feel more exposed or vulnerable than they’re comfortable with. It’s a common misconception that men don’t like pleasuring their female partners orally though. Most are eager to please the women they go to bed with and are happy to go down on them if they wish, so definitely don’t be afraid to ask for it if it’s your thing.
- Anal Sex
Decades ago, anal sex wasn’t just a taboo topic that you absolutely didn’t discuss. It wasn’t even something the average person was doing with any regularity. Most people saw it as a sexual fantasy they were curious about, but likely wouldn’t ever experience in reality. However, things have changed over the last 10-15 years or so. More and more people openly say they’ve done it and enjoyed it. Many that haven’t say they definitely would if the opportunity ever presented itself.
The fact that anal sex is among the most frequently googled sexual topics really speaks for itself. The more relaxed society’s moral attitude becomes toward sex, the more comfortable people become with embracing sex as something pleasurable and healthy. Part of that means a growing curiosity about any intimate activity that feels good, even if it involves body parts that weren’t necessarily created with sex in mind.
Most people have mixed feelings about masturbation when they’re young and have just discovered this incredible feeling their bodies are capable of producing. On the one hand, it’s pretty much the best, most magical thing ever. However, it’s also something they have a lot of questions about. Is this something other people do? Is it normal? Is it normal to do it this often or like it this much?
Once we’re older, fully developed adults, we know it’s not only normal, but perfectly healthy. Taking your personal pleasure into your own hands (literally) can be super empowering. Learning how to get yourself off consistently is probably one of the most beneficial things you can do for your partnered sex life as well. No one will ever be as capable of figuring out what feels good to you as you yourself are. Once you know, you can pass that information with a partner.
- Sex Toys
Adult toys are another topic absolutely everyone seems to be curious about, if the number of Google searches on the topic are any indicator, and with good reason. Vibrators and other sex toys can be fantastically effective ways to experience orgasm and experiment with different sensations. They can also be incredible ways to take sex with a partner to the next level, as well as make sexual ruts a thing of the past.
Along with changing social mores surrounding sex toys, the Internet has done a lot to change people’s attitude toward them. The days of having to travel to an actual sex shop hoping you won’t run into anyone you know if you wanted a sex toy are long over with. These days, a quick Google search and a visit to an ecommerce site are all it takes connect to an ever growing selection of different options. Talk about a game changer!
Although pornography is definitely still considered taboo in many circles, that’s changing for sure. As with sex toys, the Internet has a lot to do with changing attitudes toward porn as well. Checking out a porn video no longer requires a shame-soaked trip to the back room of your local video rental shop. These days, anyone with Wi-Fi or 4G is just a Google search and few quick taps away from any type of porn they might be curious about.
Pornography use is probably a lot more common than you think it is too. Approximately 97% of men say they check out a porn clip or two at least a couple of times a week. An increasing number of women also openly admit to liking porn. Many, many couples actually enjoy either watching it together or watching it separately and discussing it together later. In other words, while porn is definitely not a dinner table topic yet, it’s a lot less taboo than it used to be.
Cybersex has been around almost as long as the Internet has, but it’s definitely become more varied over the years. In addition to websites where people can watch their fill of any type of porn they’re in the mood for, there are numerous chat rooms and virtual interfaces where people can engage in sex chat or even webcam sex. There are quite a few dating-style apps that exist specifically for helping people find local people to hook up with for actual sex as well.
As the online world becomes a bigger and bigger part of how people live their everyday lives, it makes sense that people are turning to the Internet more often to have their sexual needs fulfilled. It’s definitely changing how society views sexual activity in general, although whether or not it’s a good thing really depends on who you ask.
- Sex Work
Although there are definitely people out there that readily admit to watching porn online or engaging in the occasional round of cybersex, people are still less forthcoming when it comes to whether or not they pay for sex work. For that reason, a lot of people are still unsure as to what sex work does or doesn’t entail.
Although prostitutes that stand around on street corners a la Pretty Woman are definitely sex workers, there’s a lot more to sex work in general than that. There are many, many professionals out there that sell sex to one degree or another and more people than you’d think that are willing to pay for it. In fact, it’s likely that you know someone who’s purchased sex (probably more than once).
At the end of the day, sex is something that require us to be vulnerable to one degree or another, so it makes sense that talking about sexual topics makes us feel vulnerable as well. However, that’s also part of what makes sex (and talking about it) so intriguing.