The 1990’s were nothing if not a big decade for vibrators and other sex toys. Thanks to their positive depiction on breakthrough hit Sex and the City, people began to talk about them openly and comfortably for perhaps the first time. Sex toy use has become even more mainstream since. In fact, it’s not uncommon to see vibrators for sale at the corner drug store right alongside the personal lubricant and condoms these days.
Even so, you’d be surprised how much erroneous information is still circulating about sex toys. Many of the old stereotypes and misconceptions are alive and well, making it hard to know what the truth really is. Here we’ll separate the fact from the fiction by addressing some of the most common sex toy myths out there, as well as letting you in on the truth.
- “Sex toys are only for singles.”
This is not only one of the most common sex toy myths, but one of the most negative as well. Yes, sex toys can be a great way for single people to take responsibility for their own sexual pleasure into their own hands, so to speak. However, it’s worth noting that a whopping 78% of women that report using sex toys on a regular basis are either married or in a relationship. They’re not using sex toys because they’re lonely or can’t get a man. They’re doing it because they’re sexually empowered and know that there’s nothing wrong with enjoying an orgasm.
While we’re on the topic of people thinking a woman uses a vibrator because she can’t get a man, it isn’t just straight women that use vibrators. There are millions of same sex couples that love using sex toys, both together and separately.
- “Sex toys are just for women.”
Since women are more likely than men to need the assistance of a sex toy in order to reach orgasm, it’s all too easy to believe that men have no interest or use for them. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Men like experiencing different or unique sensations just as much as women do and there are hundreds of toys out there on the market today that can deliver that and then some.
In fact, just about any sex toy emporium will have an entire section devoted just to sex toys for men. Some of those toys are often used with a partner during couple’s sex (i.e. vibrating cock rings or penis pumps), but quite a few are designed specifically to take a man’s solo sex experience to the next level. Premium masturbation sleeves and sex dolls are excellent examples.
- “People that use sex toys have something wrong with their sex lives.”
The notion that people turn to sex toys because they’re sexually frustrated or otherwise unsatisfied with the sex they’re having has been around a while. It’s also woefully outdated. People don’t use toys because their sex lives aren’t any good. They don’t necessarily use toys because there’s something wrong with them either.
In fact, according to the Kinsey Institute, women that use vibrators are actually more likely to experience higher levels of arousal, desire, lubrication, and orgasm both alone and with a partner. They’re also more likely to schedule and keep regular gynecological appointments, so these are women that are not only in touch with their bodies, but that know it’s important to take care of themselves. Sex toy use doesn’t affect a person’s ability to experience pleasure with their partner either. If anything, people that use toys as part of their solo routine are more likely to enjoy partnered sex, as they’re more aware of what they need in bed to get the absolute most out of the experience.
- “No one needs a sex toy in order to have an orgasm.”
Some people see sex toys as crutches that prevent women from learning to experience orgasm the “right” way – via penetration by a penis. It should go without saying that there’s a lot wrong with that belief, but there’s no “right” way to have an orgasm. Everyone is different as to what gets them off or brings them the most pleasure. As long as it feels good and everyone involved is a consenting adult, anything goes.
Also, many women truly can’t experience orgasm during penetrative intercourse without a little help in that department – up to 75%. For those women, sex toys aren’t just a welcome way to assist in achieving maximum pleasure. They’re something they can’t have an orgasm without and really, orgasms are much too good to miss out on. Not only do they feel awesome in the moment, but they reduce stress, soothe depression, and lower the risk of developing certain cancers. Orgasms have even been shown to help a person feel better when they have a cold.
- “Sex toys are made for solo use, not couples.”
While there are certainly plenty of people that love using sex toys to enhance their solo sex lives, they’re absolutely not just for using on your own. In fact, sex toys can be absolute game changers for couples, both same sex and straight. Contrary to popular belief, the great majority of the sex toys out there on the market are considered gender neutral. Examples include but are not limited to vibrators, anal plugs, electrostimulation toys, and nipple clamps.
Still more toys are specially designed for couples to use together. There are hands-free vibes made to be worn during intercourse, as well as cock rings. There are even remote controlled sex toys that operate via handy smartphone apps – a great way for couples to let their creativity run wild. Such toys can be controlled from across the country just as easily as from across the room.
- “People shouldn’t talk openly about sex toys.”
While it’s understandable if a given person prefers to keep private matters private for reasons of their own, it’s a real fallacy to believe there’s no benefit to talking openly about sex toys and admitting to using them. In fact, the exact opposite is true.
For many people, sex toy use and masturbation are still taboo subjects associated with shame, guilt, or embarrassment. Open dialogue about topics like these can help remove those stigmas from the mix and allow people to realize that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure. If anything, people should be openly discussing sex toys and their use more, not less.
- “People with sexual dysfunction can’t benefit from sex toys.”
While not everyone that has trouble reaching orgasm or achieving sexual arousal suffers from sexual dysfunction, there are definitely those out there that do. Contrary to popular belief, dealing with a sexual dysfunction doesn’t equate to not wanting to have sex. Many people that suffer from erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia, and other issues crave sex very much. They’re just not sure how to go about having it without their condition being a problem.
Sex toys can actually help immensely in this department. For instance, many women that suffer from anorgasmia and can’t have an orgasm despite considerable stimulation sometimes find that they can climax when a vibrator is part of the mix. Men that have trouble achieving or maintaining erections sometimes find that cock rings help in this department. Alternatively, they may find they too can climax with the help of a vibrator or other sex toy. Even when orgasm isn’t necessarily the goal, it still often feels good to be stimulated or to use a toy to stimulate a partner.
- “Bringing your sex toy into the bedroom is always awkward.”
As touched on above, there’s really no wrong way to enjoy experiencing pleasure either by yourself or with a consenting partner. It’s also understandable if you’d prefer to keep your sex toys to yourself. However, the benefits of bringing your toys into the bedroom for partnered play are really too good not to at least consider them. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have to be awkward.
In fact, bringing a toy into the bedroom can be a great way for women and men alike to become more confident. Women especially can struggle with self-consciousness in the bedroom and the right toy can help shift the focus for the better. For instance, playing with blindfolds can be a great way for a shy partner to become more comfortable with doing and saying things they normally wouldn’t. Letting a partner use a vibrator on you can be a fun and very sexy way to teach a partner what kinds of touch make you orgasm as well.
Sex toys are the very furthest thing from one-size-fits-all, so it’s easy to find exactly the right option for you. There are toys for people that love anal play, penetration, BDSM, and so much more. Why not start experimenting a little? It won’t be long before you see sex toys for exactly what they are – fun, creative solutions that can take any sex life to new heights. Explore the possibilities today!