Like a Fine Wine: How to Keep the Sizzle in Your Sex Life as You Age
If you think sex, intimacy, and earth-shattering orgasms are just for the young, it’s really time to think again. Contrary to popular belief, there’s no age limit on sexual desire, nor is there one on the right to enjoy a healthy, satisfying sex life. In fact, sex can be a wonderful tool for maintaining one’s health and well-being well into old age.
Of course, sex after 50 and above isn’t without its share of challenges, but they’re far from insurmountable. Here we’ll go over some must-know tips for keeping your sex life active, hot, and satisfying as you continue to grow older. We’ll touch on some ways your age is actually an advantage as well. Play your cards right and you may just find you’re having better sex than you did when you were much younger.
Why It’s Important to Remain Sexual
Thanks to the way our society worships at the altar of youth, it can be hard for middle-aged and older adults not to feel a bit obsolete at times. Many people see getting older as something embarrassing or, at the very least, disheartening. It’s important to understand that it doesn’t have to be that way though, especially when it comes to love and sex. In fact, you have every reason to keep your sexuality and erotic life alive as you get older. Let us count the ways!
- Sex can keep you connected to your partner(s).
Younger adults tend to glean a lot of their personal fulfillment from their careers, their children, or both. Older people, on other hand, eventually have to reevaluate their priorities as their children leave home, as they contemplate retirement, and as they start to slow down for other reasons. Their relationships and personal connections to others become more important than ever and sex is a powerful way to remain connected.
- Sex can help you stay healthier for longer.
Sex is, quite simply, incredibly good for you and not just when you’re younger. It can help you be your best, healthiest self at any age. To begin with, sex absolutely counts as exercise, so it can help you burn excess calories, tone your muscles, maintain stamina, and stay within a healthy weight range as you get older. It also triggers the release of anxiety-reducing, depression-busting endorphins, so it’s great for your mental and emotional health as well.
- Sex can provide a welcome way to unwind.
Older people that are retired with their children out of house definitely still have worries and deal with stress from time to time. Everyone needs a way to relax, unwind, and escape from some of life’s harsh realities now and then. Sex can provide a powerful way to do that.
Because of all the reasons listed above, continuing to prioritize your sex life as you age quite literally helps you live longer. Sex also helps people continue to feel relevant, vibrant, desired, and fulfilled emotionally no matter how old they might be. If that’s not enough reason to celebrate the amazing person you always have been and make sure sex remains a part of your life going forward, we don’t know what is!
How to Keep It Sexy at Any Age
Of course, knowing you have every reason in the world to stay sexually active as you age is one thing. Actually understanding how to go about it is another. Keep the following tips in mind and it will be hard to go wrong. Be sure to share them with your partner as well!
- Let your experience work for
Although many people have a tendency to believe certain things pretty never improve with age, nothing could be further from the truth. Middle-aged and older people tend to be much more self-confident and independent than their younger counterparts. Don’t underestimate how very attractive qualities like those can make a person to an existing or potential partner!
You probably understand a lot more about your body and what really gets your sexual engine running than you did when you were younger as well. Put that knowledge to good use in the bedroom and rock out like the fierce sex god or goddess that you are!
- Let go of any preconceived expectations you might have.
Maybe you firmly believe age is just a number and are positive nothing will actually change as you get older. On the other hand, maybe you were raised to feel that people should always “act their age”, regardless of how they feel inside. Whatever the case may be for you, check your expectations at the door, especially when it comes to your sex life.
If sex was a huge part of your life when you were younger, there’s no reason you have to slow down now that you’re older (unless you want to, of course). Just keep an open mind and take things as they come, one sexual experience at a time.
- Keep the lines of communication open.
Depending on your age, you may well belong to a generation that wasn’t as open about sex as today’s young people seem to be. However, it’s important to understand how crucial open communication is when it comes to maintaining a healthy, happy, active sex life at any age.
If talking openly about sex on a regular basis is an issue for you, it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and encourage your partner (if you have one) to do the same. Talking freely with your sex partner(s) about your needs, your wants, and any concerns you might have is one of the best ways to ensure you both get what you want out of the sexual experience. It can foster intimacy and bring you closer together as well.
- Never stop trying new things.
One of the perks of getting older for many people is more free time, not to mention fewer distractions vying for whatever time you have. Perfect for trying new things, exploring new territory, and pushing a few limits both in and out of the bedroom!
Never be afraid to take new ideas that strike your fancy for a test drive. Discuss them with your partner and listen intently to any ideas they might have as well. Role playing, play that involves sex toys, and bondage play are just a few ideas that can breathe a new sense of vitality into your sex life, especially if you feel like things have been getting stale or routine lately.
- Think outside the box when it comes to your definition of sex.
Many people find that the older they get, the more nuanced and expansive their definition of sex becomes. It’s not necessarily all about intercourse anymore, nor does it have to be. There are lots of ways to sensually enjoy the touch, presence, or company of your partner and you owe it yourselves to discover and explore them all.
Try experimenting more often with oral sex or mutual masturbation. Massage that both does and doesn’t wander into more erotic territory sooner or later is also a must. You might find that even cuddling with your partner or engaging in extended kissing sessions brings you great emotional and romantic satisfaction. Definitely take things further if you’re both game, but know that there’s nothing wrong with either of you if you sometimes find you don’t actually feel like having intercourse.
- Don’t skimp on the foreplay.
When you’re older, it can take longer for either partner to become fully aroused enough for intercourse (if that’s your goal). That said, foreplay is more important than ever, so it’s vital that you don’t simply rush through it. Extended kissing, touching, toy play, or massage sessions often do the trick, but you can get a jump on the festivities by setting the stage for the main event in advance.
Get a romantic and intimate mood going by making an entire evening of it. Enjoy a long, romantic dinner together or treat yourselves to a night out dancing cheek to cheek. If you like, you can start even earlier by flirting with one another on and off all day, exchanging racy emails, and so forth.
- Make sure regular exercise remains part of your routine.
You already know how important exercise is when it comes to staying healthy and continuing to live your best life well into old age. It’s an absolute must if you’re serious about maintaining your sex life as well. The older you are, the more critical it becomes.
Even light exercise like walking or cycling can bring major sex life-boosting benefits to the table. You’ll improve and maintain your mobility, your stamina, and your energy levels. Your general sense of wellbeing and self-esteem will stay nice and high as well.
At the end of the day, getting older doesn’t have to mean giving up on sex or on continuing to experiment sexually. If you let it, your middle-aged and golden years may just be your most satisfying yet. Embrace the possibilities today!