Here in 2018, the great majority of us may not be virgins anymore by the time we’re contemplating wedding night sex or honeymoon sex, but that hardly means we shouldn’t still care about making it special. You and your beloved will remember your honeymoon for the rest of your lives together for better or worse. Naturally, you want to make it as wow-worthy as possible.
Choosing the right setting in which to experience your honeymoon is only part of the equation though. We all know it’s how things go between the sheets that will truly make or break your first weeks together as a married couple. Keep the following tips in mind to make sure your honeymoon sex measures up.
Talk things out before the wedding
A great honeymoon means being on the same page as your spouse right from the get-go and the best way to do that is to talk things out well before crunch time. Take some time to sit down and discuss your honeymoon together long before you walk down the aisle and say your “I dos” and certainly before your honeymoon.
Take turns expressing what you each hope your honeymoon will look like and be like. Maybe you’re hoping to get closer to your spouse emotionally. Maybe your partner’s more focused on having as much mind-blowing sex as is humanly possible. The key to a great honeymoon is planning something awesome that will leave both of you feeling like you got what you wanted from the experience.
Make intimacy a top priority
Whether your honeymoon will find the two of you embarking on an epic trip abroad or holing up at home alone for a while, aim to make the most of your time away from it all. This is one of life’s rare opportunities to plan out exactly how you want to spend your time for a while, so it’s important to make sure you’re prioritizing the right things.
If you’re going to be traveling, it’s only natural to want to partake in lots of sightseeing and plenty of Insta-worthy experiences, but you’ll also want to make sure you don’t overextend yourselves. Leave plenty of room in your itinerary to just be intimate, quiet, and alone together doing nothing in particular. Not only will you really need it after the excitement of getting married, but it’s essential for building intimacy and bonding as a newly married couple.
Keep the pressure factor low
You and your new spouse may have had sex several hundred times before your actual wedding night, but don’t be surprised if you’re still a little nervous. Your wedding night and honeymoon will be the first period the two of you will be spending as a married couple, so it only makes sense that you’d be extra invested in having awesome sex.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves though. It’s fine to plan a few little details to make everything feel special, but decide right now that you’ll also allow things to unfold naturally. The best sex is often also sex that is intuitive and spontaneous.
Don’t forget to pack all your essentials
Don’t simply assume that because you’re on your honeymoon the sizzle factor will simply take care of itself. If you’ll be spending your wedding night and/or your honeymoon away from home base, make sure you bring all your usual sex essentials, especially anything either of you absolutely needs to reach orgasm and have a satisfying time (e.g. a vibrating cock ring or magic bullet).
Lube is an absolute must as well, even if you don’t normally need it. After all, you don’t want anything to put a damper on your honeymoon bonding. If you like, you can even make things extra special by bringing along a flavored or scented option that will make playtime that much more scrumptious. And definitely don’t forget your birth control (unless you want to start a family right away, of course)!
Don’t go overboard with the experimentation
It probably goes without saying that your honeymoon is a great time to think outside the box a little and maybe try a few new moves on for size. Your usual inhibitions will be at an all-time low and knowing you’ll be trying something new can make things extra exciting if you’re already used to each other sexually. Just make sure not to go crazy.
You’re not trying to win a sex contest here, so there’s definitely no need to change every little detail of your repertoire, especially if you already know what works for the both of you. Do discuss a couple of fantasies or new toys though and choose one or two things you’re both equally excited about trying.
Pull out all the stops with your honeymoon prep
Your honeymoon prep period is a great time to think back to how you took care of yourself when you and your future spouse first met and revisit some of that same attention to detail. What did you do to make sure you looked and felt like a million bucks before your first date or the first time the two of you slept together? Prepare for your honeymoon the same way by getting your hair done, treating yourself to a bikini wax, going in for a tanning session, and anything else that makes you feel five-alarm sexy.
Consider boosting your confidence level a little right beforehand with a little touch-up as well. Wet wipes work wonders if you’re in need of an impromptu freshening up right before you get up close and personal, especially when you don’t have the time or opportunity to take a full-on shower first. A nice once-over with your favorite lotion or a spritz of your sexiest fragrance hardly hurts either.
Don’t sweat it if things don’t go as planned
Few – if any – monumental sexual encounters ever go down exactly as expected or planned for and your wedding night and honeymoon are unlikely to be any different. Just keep in mind that this is the case for many couples and that’s it’s not only normal, but OK. (In fact, approximately half of all married couples say they wound up not having sex at all on their wedding night.)
If you do find that you’re both too exhausted to really soak the sheets your first night as a married couple, don’t worry about it. Just try again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. You’ll get your groove going eventually. You may also want to consider doing it for the first time as a married couple a little earlier on in your wedding day. Not only is slipping away for a tryst shortly after taking your vows super-hot, but it gives you both a much needed chance to decompress before you hit your reception to dance the night away.
Take it easy on the alcohol
Whether it’s your actual wedding night we’re talking about or simply an extra special honeymoon date between the sheets you want to get ready for, don’t overdo it on the alcohol. A glass of champagne or two is great for setting the mood and taking the edge off any nerves you two might have. Even a couple of glasses too many can lead to issues though.
Drinking too much can definitely impair your ability to perform in the sack thanks to an erection that comes and goes or a vagina that’s dry as a desert. It can mess with your ability to have an orgasm as well (or drain the oomph from any orgasms you do have). If either of you does happen to over-imbibe regardless though, it’s not a big deal. Just sleep it off and go for it some other time.
Take notes as to what works
So let’s just say you two have an awesome wedding night and honeymoon – picture perfect, even. Now it’s time to pack your things and head home to start the rest of your life together as a married couple. Far too many couples take that to mean it’s also time to slip into a sexual rut when they absolutely shouldn’t. You may not be able to jet off to Maui or Paris to spend a few weeks bonding sexually whenever you want, but honeymoon-level sex is something you can experience on an ongoing basis if you put your mind to it.
Start by mindfully recognizing and acknowledging what it was about sex while you were still on your honeymoon that worked so well. Did you find it refreshing that you had a lot more morning sex than usual? Were you more willing to take sexual risks that turned out to be really satisfying – like having public sex or experimenting with toys to a greater extent? Did you like what happened when you made more time for marathon sessions or seized every opportunity to get in a quickie? All of those factors can be duplicated or revisited to at least some extent now that you’re back at home base. Try it and see for yourself!