As people, in general, become more sexually open, there are lots of former taboos that are now firmly on the table for couples everywhere. Anal is one of those things, and with good reason. While more people than ever are open to trying anal play of all kinds, the fabled backdoor is still far enough off the beaten trail to feel like a deliciously naughty place to be.
But being curious about anal and open to the idea of trying it is one thing. Knowing whether it’s a good fit for you and your partner is another. Here’s what you need to know to figure things out and decide once and for all whether you’d like to give it a try.
Why Anal Is So Appealing
Anal sex has a reputation for being something only men enjoy and that women merely tolerate to please their partners, but this really isn’t true. Yes, many men do love the idea of engaging in backdoor play with their partners, but women can and do enjoy it, too.
A person’s anal area is incredibly sensitive and nerve-rich, so anal play can be highly pleasurable for both parties when approached properly. Some women can even have anal orgasms, so don’t let anyone tell you “butt stuff” is only a good time for guys. And, of course, anal penetration can feel phenomenal to men, as that’s one of the better ways to stimulate the prostate (or P-spot).
But the appeal of anal goes well beyond the actual pleasure factor of the act itself. Even though it’s more mainstream than it used to be, anal still has a certain mystique that makes it seem naughty and adventurous. And since it’s not necessarily something that’s on the menu for everyone in every situation, a partner’s choice to engage in anal play with you feels incredibly intimate in the most beautiful way.
However, it’s also reasonably easy to understand why some people – especially women – don’t like the idea of anal. There’s a lot of porn out there that shows anal being performed on women in potentially demeaning or painful ways, which doesn’t paint backdoor play in the best light. Many women are also reluctant to try anal to please their male partners when that same partner might consider being pegged by a dildo to be out of the question.
How to Know Whether Anal Is Right for You?
Sex is a vital part of anyone’s life, as well as of any relationship they might be part of. That said, it can be a positively transformative thing that can bring two people closer and keep them that way over the long haul. But it can be a destructive thing, as well – especially when someone feels pressured to do something they don’t want to do just to please a partner.
In other words, there are right reasons and wrong reasons to add anal to your sexual routine. Here’s a closer look at some of the right ones – good signs that anal is an excellent fit for you and your relationship.
You genuinely like the idea of anal.
Not everyone finds the idea of anal appealing. Still, many people feel differently, even if they’re also struggling to overcome past teachings that there’s something dirty about it. So, what do you think? If thinking about trying anal play with your partner or on your own with a toy sounds exciting, then that’s a good sign you should give it a try.
You trust your partner.
Anal is arguably among the more intimate acts you can share with a partner, so it’s essential to try it for the first time with someone you trust and who puts you at ease. It’s also something you should discuss thoroughly together before going ahead with it. Comfort communicating about something as important as a new bedroom activity is sexy. Full consent on both sides is even sexier.
You’re well-prepared.
Many people who are afraid to try anal are worried it will hurt. That said, be aware that anal never hurts if you’re doing it correctly and are well-prepared for it. Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand, as it’s the key to super-pleasurable anal. Make sure you’re fully aroused and relaxed before proceeding, as well. Try feeling things out with a finger or a small toy first to get used to the sensations. Then move on to bigger things when you’re ready.
Anal is a lot like any other sexual activity. It can be absolutely fantastic and highly pleasurable, but only if you’re genuinely into what’s going on. However, there’s no one correct answer as to whether you should try it yourself. If you’re ready, dive right in. But if not, there’s nothing wrong with passing or with taking more time to think it over first.
