Sex gets better in lots of ways when you’ve been with the same person for a long time. You get to know one another’s bodies well enough to know precisely what works from a pleasure standpoint. You develop that sort of effortless comfort and deep intimacy that only comes with time, as well.
However, it’s certainly possible to get so used to sex with the same person that ruts become an issue. The following are some great ways to improve your sex life and keep it from becoming too routine, as well as to make short work of any issues you may be dealing with currently. Which ones have your attention?
1. Get back in the habit of flirting with your partner.
When you first get together with someone, flirting comes extremely naturally. The newer your relationship, the more preoccupied you are with getting close to your partner, touching them all the time, and sending little signals that let them know how desired they are.
It’s natural and healthy to start focusing on other things once you start building a life together, but you shouldn’t let those sweet, sexy, little moments disappear altogether. Flirt with your partner, both in person and over text or instant message throughout the day. If you’re thinking about them, let them know. Bonus points for sharing any naughty little thoughts you have.
2. Rethink the way you use porn.
There’s nothing wrong with liking porn and watching it from time to time. Just make sure you’re not escaping into your computer screen so often that it’s interfering with the connection you have to your partner.
You may even want to consider integrating porn into your love life with your partner as a happy medium. Watch it together to get your engines going when it’s time to be intimate. Alternatively, you can watch it separately and discuss things you liked or any ideas you have with your partner afterward.
3. Get physical together outside of the bedroom.
No, we’re not necessarily talking about finding new places to do it (although you totally should if the mood strikes.) We’re talking about working out together or connecting over another activity that gets your bodies moving.
Not only is exercise something most people need more of anyway, but it’s fantastic for improving your sex life. It makes you stronger, and more flexible, as well as boosts your stamina and overall mood. Plus, bodies in motion tend to like staying in motion, so getting sweaty outside the bedroom is a terrific way to keep things active inside it, as well.
4. Embark on a sexy education.
You’re never too old to learn a few new tricks in the bedroom. If you and your partner are up for it, consider signing up for a sex class for couples or even attending a one-night workshop. It’s a great way to expose yourself to new ideas in a relaxed environment that makes the whole process fun.
Go ahead and choose a sexy subject you’ve always wanted to learn more about – like BDSM, tantric sex, or roleplaying. Shop for some fun new sex toys or accessories to take for a spin. Then go to town practicing on your first free weekend together.
5. Indulge in some frank discussion.
Communication is essential in any relationship, both in the bedroom and outside of it. It’s also the best way to navigate your way out of any problems that arise as a couple. Having an honest, frank talk about sexual frustrations, dry spells, and the like may not be easy, but it’s a critical part of getting back on track.
Making open discussion about sexual fantasies, new ideas, and desires into a habit is a terrific way to improve your sex life together, as well. Getting creative and trying new things from time to time builds intimacy and keeps things exciting between the sheets.
6. Make sex a priority.
Spontaneous, unexpected sex is fantastic when it happens, but it’s not realistic to expect things to be that way all the time. Life gets in the way. Work schedules and responsibilities sometimes demand extra time or lead to excess stress. Most people accept that if something’s important to them – like a class they want to take or social get-togethers with friends – they need to schedule it to make it happen. However, they’re reluctant to schedule sex for fear of what that says about them as a couple.
Carving out time for date nights, couple’s time, and even sex is the best way to make sure you’re making enough room for it all in your schedule. It also ensures your relationship remains the top priority it should be. Taking steps to make sure that’s the case today is the best way to improve your sex life dramatically, guaranteed.
