We’ve all heard of it. We’re all curious about it. Maybe we even know someone who’s tried it and swears by it. Even so, tantric sex can be a bit of an enigma to an absolute beginner. What is tantric sex really? How do you do it? Are there any benefits to practicing it? Most importantly of all, how can you make sure the entire experience is appropriately mind-blowing?
Here we’ll go over everything the adventurous soul ought to know about tantric sex. Don’t worry. We’ll totally tell you how to get started to boot. You’ll be a bona fide expert in no time.
What Is Tantric Sex?
In many cultures, including our own, most people approach sex as a form of recreation. It’s a way to feel good, have fun, relieve stress, and connect to other people. We can get super serious about sex if we’re looking to start a family, but that’s about it.
In many Eastern cultures, however, sex is so much more than that. In addition to a source of pleasure and a way to reproduce, it can also be a way to expand one’s consciousness. It’s said to be an effective way of joining male and female polarities into one cohesive whole as well.
Tantric sex in particular is considered by many to be the ancient key to not only ultimate pleasure, but psychic and emotional power as well. Many even believe that the energy generated during a tantric sex session can be used for creative pursuits in other areas of life.
What Are the Benefits of Tantric Sex?
Sure, bringing up tantric sex might be a great way to intrigue your next Tinder date. However, the benefits actually go well beyond having a go-to “wow” card to pull out of your hat every so often. Let us count the ways!
You can really deepen your connection with your partner.
If you’re in a committed relationship (or hope to be) and long for a meaningful new way to bring the two of you closer together, tantric sex just might be the X-factor you’ve been looking for. Couples that take measures to actually explore their mutual interest in tantric sex consistently report feeling significantly closer, as well as being better able to overcome obstacles.
How does tantric sex accomplish this? It brings some seriously intimate interactions into play including prolonged eye contact, synced breathing, and increased awareness of one’s partner. Relationships that reach new levels are the inevitable result.
You’ll become more patient.
Tantric sex is all about taking things slow. Learning how to do that successfully doesn’t just give you more control when it comes to your sexual performance. Focuses like holding back orgasm, mastering tantric positions, and becoming actively conscious of your partner all help you develop patience in other areas of your life as well.
You’ll get better at problem solving.
If you’ve ever thumbed through a copy of the Kama Sutra, you don’t need to be told that tantric sex positions present something of a challenge. It takes time, effort, and dedication to go from a beginner to a tantric sex expert. This is even more the case when it comes to the fine art of prolonging orgasm. Talking through the process and finding solutions with your partner helps you become a better problem solver and team player.
You’ll become more creative.
Sex is a potentially creative act in more ways than just one. It can also be a great way to unlock our full potential. Many long-time practitioners of tantric sex report finding it easier to identify and pursue their goals. Artists seem to generate new ideas and concepts more readily as well.
You’ll become less selfish.
By learning to withhold orgasm and delay your own pleasure, you’ll be better able to focus on your partner. It’s not easy to make selfishness a thing of the past after that, not just in bed, but in others areas of your life as well.
You’ll become more empowered.
Tantric sex has a way of stripping away all of a person’s pretenses. That entire process can be incredibly empowering. You no longer feel like you have anything to hide or be afraid of. This can lead to an increased sense of purpose and a greater ability to express yourself candidly
How to Get Started with Tantric Sex
Although there’s certainly more than one way to explore tantric sex for the first time, the following steps are a great place to start for beginners. If you and your partner enjoy the experience, you can continue your education with more advanced manuals, tantric sex aids, and so forth. Start slow. If things go well, you can work your way up to the complicated positions and spiritual goals.
At its core, tantric sex is really more about generating sexual energy and letting it build than it is simply doing the deed and reaching orgasm. That said, one of the best ways to approach the experience is to abstain from orgasm altogether for a while.
Make a deal with your partner to stay celibate for as long as the two of you can stand it. (Masturbating is fine so long as you don’t allow yourself to reach orgasm.) The idea is to reach that painfully delicious place where you’re super horny pretty much all the time.
Prepare your space.
Once you’ve both reached the point where you don’t feel you can be celibate any longer, take some time to prepare your space and get ready for your experience. Make up the bed with fresh bedding and plenty of soft pillows. Light candles. Take care of all the little touches that help create a romantic ambience for the two of you.
If all goes well, your experience will last a while, so make sure you think of practical things as well. Place some water or wine someplace both of you can easily reach it. If you’re planning an extended session, you may want to include something light (but romantic) to snack on like fruit or chocolate.
Sit down and get started.
The tantric method for raising and building sexual energy is called “yab-yum”. Yab-yum technique involves sitting down together and engaging in an extended embrace. There are a few ways you can go about this.
- You can sit cross-legged in front of each other with your knees touching.
- You can sit together with one partner’s legs wrapped around the other’s torso.
- One partner can sit on the other’s lap. Your legs should be wrapped around each other.
Which position is right for you depends on what degree of closeness the two of you feel you can stand without rushing straight into the pursuit of orgasm.
Once you’ve assumed your position of choice, maintain that position. Hold each other and simply allow yourselves to become completely aroused. You can touch each other and caress one another. Some couples like to kiss, but generally, it’s recommended that you simple focus on breathing and maintaining your sense of calm.
The key to success here is to focus on breathing completely differently than you normally would when you’re super aroused. When you’re in the throes of passion and about to orgasm, your breathing is shallow. Focus on taking long, slow breaths that completely fill your lungs instead – in through your mouth and out through the nose.
Just do it.
The two of you can and should continue the tantric process for as long as the two of you feel like you can stand it. Sooner or later though, you will reach the point where you can’t go another moment without taking each other. When you get there, go right ahead.
There’s no by-the-book method for finally having sex once you reach that point. However, some people do like to practice seeing how long they can draw things out before they have an orgasm. Some prolong play with toys or massage. Still more people like to simply lose themselves and go for broke. Just do whatever feels right to the two of you.
Once you’ve been practicing the tantric process for a while, you’ll begin to notice some really interesting effects. Just as lifting weights makes your muscles stronger and stronger over time, the tantric process trains your nervous system to hold greater and greater “charges” when it comes to sexual energy. You’ll find you start to last longer during sex, as well as experience explosively intense orgasms.
You’ll notice differences in the way you experience everyday life as well. You’ll have more energy overall. You might start having very vivid dreams and intense surges of creativity. Some people swear they become more attractive to the opposite sex as well. Eventually, you may start to feel a tingling at the small of your back. That’s your kundalini (or “serpent energy”) becoming activated – a sure sign that you’re reaping the metaphysical benefits of tantric sex as well.
Tantric sex on the whole is nothing if not an interesting journey. It’s not for everyone, but the potential benefits make it well worth exploring. Get started today!