If you’re currently in a relationship with someone who’s significantly older or younger than you, then you don’t need to be told that love is age-blind. However, that doesn’t mean age differences don’t bring certain challenges of their own to the table – especially when it comes to staying in sync both in and out of the bedroom.
Challenges are easily overcome with understanding, patience, and some smart planning. Here are a few tips every couple with an age difference should keep in mind if they’re serious about keeping their relationships hot, satisfying, and mutually fulfilling over the long haul.
1. Accept and acknowledge your differences
Although adopting an “age is nothing but a number” attitude toward your relationship might seem like the enlightened thing to do, it’s much smarter and more sensible to acknowledge your differences. Differences that are acknowledged can be managed, dealt with, and respected.
In time, they can even be appreciated and seen as assets to the relationship. For example, an older partner often brings experience to the table that benefits both partners, while a younger partner brings energy and optimism that can help keep you both young at heart for a long time to come.
2. Learn to manage differing sex drives
Although not every relationship that involves an age difference adds up to mismatched sex drives, it’s a common enough problem that it’s worth preparing for the possibility. It’s not uncommon for the older partner to be slowing down a bit sexually, while the younger one is still hot, horny, and raring to go more of the time.
However, it’s important to find a middle ground that keeps both people satisfied. Although it may sound unromantic, scheduling sex is often one of the best ways to make sure the two of you are coming together in the bedroom often enough. Being able to anticipate sex gives the partner with less of a sex drive a chance to get into the right headspace first.
3. Consider exploring adult toys together
Age can eventually bring it’s share of obstacles and natural limitations into the bedroom. Examples include potential issues with mobility, stamina, arousal, or sexual responsiveness. However, many of these issues and more are easily addressed with options like sex toys, sex furniture, personal lubricants, and more.
A healthy collection of toys and accessories you can turn to in a pinch also helps keep sexual ruts at bay, as well as gives the two of you a fun way to keep experimenting over the years. Toys can help take the pressure off when it comes to having (or giving) an orgasm. Plus, they’re just plain fun, so it’s worth your while to try them sooner rather than later.
4. Be world-class communicators
Communication is a must in any healthy relationship, but it’s especially important between partners with a significant age difference. Factors like differing world views and value systems can make it harder to find common ground naturally, but active communication can help a lot in that department.
The same goes for your relationship inside the bedroom. Cultivate a healthy habit of talking openly and honestly about sex. Give each other feedback as to what feels good and what doesn’t. Talk about your fantasies, take turns suggesting things you’d like to try in the bedroom, and encourage one another to speak up if there’s anything in particular to be said.
5. Maintain your own independent lives
While spending plenty of quality time together is crucial for any couple, it’s also important to have balanced, independent lives as individuals, as well. This may be even more important for couples with age differences, as it gives each person a chance to enjoy activities their partner isn’t as into, as well as take part in relationships with friends and acquaintances closer in age.
It’s important to take time to yourselves, as well. Yes, this means making time for personal hobbies and passions to enjoy on your own time. But for some couples, it may mean making room for solo sexual time, as well. Solo sessions are an important part of staying in touch with your body, as well as keeping track of how you truly like to be stimulated.
6. Always honor one another
When you and your partner have an age difference, it can be tempting to develop toxic habits like blaming a partner’s age for problems or conflicts. For example, a younger person may see an older partner as stuffy or out of touch, while an older person might tend to pull rank on their younger partner in the name of experience.
Take care not to treat each other this way. Instead, honor each other, treat one another with respect, and choose to see your differences as assets, not drawbacks. Remember, you fell in love with your partner for a reason. Never forget it.