If you hate that you’re not lasting as long as you’d like to in bed, don’t sweat it too hard. Finishing before you’re ready is something every guy goes through at least occasionally, so you’re far from alone. And thankfully, you’re not stuck simply hoping for the best and praying not to lose control when you’re about to get busy, either.
It’s possible to train yourself to go the distance and then some. All it takes is a little effort, patience, and practice. Of course, a little expert advice never hurts, either. Here are a few terrific tips to get you started in the right direction.
1. Start with a few lifestyle changes.
Although many people forget to think of it that way, sex is a physical activity – exercise. That means it’s possible to get better at it by taking better care of yourself. If you don’t already work out regularly, start. Cut back on alcohol and similar drugs, as they exacerbate sexual issues, and be sure to eat right. Getting into better shape (and better health) helps you build endurance and confidence on multiple levels.
Be sure to practice healthy self-care, as well. Self-doubt is a huge mood killer, as is anxiety over the possibility of not performing well. So be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that this is something that happens to everyone, as well as that it’s manageable, and avoid dwelling too long on negative thoughts.
2. Add pelvic floor exercises to your routine.
Pelvic floor exercises are honestly among the most beneficial things you can do for your ongoing sexual health, especially if you’re working on lasting longer. The pelvic floor muscles regulate ejaculation and orgasm, so making them stronger can lead to better control in bed. A more robust pelvic floor can mean better, more satisfying orgasms when it is time to finish, as well.
Activate your pelvic floor muscles by pretending you’re trying to stop your urine stream or prevent yourself from passing gas. Exercise them by tightening them, releasing them for a few seconds, and then repeating. Start by doing ten reps at a time a couple of times a day. Then, gradually work your way up to three sets of ten reps every day.
3. Try extending your self-pleasure sessions.
Many people approach masturbation from a strictly utilitarian place, meaning they’re just looking to scratch an itch and get off as quickly as possible. If that sounds like you, you may be training your body to anticipate a fast trip to the finish line, so you’ll want to work on that. Practice drawing things out and seeing how long you can last.
Then, once you’re used to sustaining things a bit, try adding a stimulating toy like a stroker or vibrating cock ring to the mix to practice lasting through more intense sensations. Making sure to masturbate a couple of times a week as a rule, as well as a couple of hours before you plan to have sex, can help give you more control over your orgasms, too.
4. Focus on your partner’s pleasure first.
One way to extend your sexual experiences without placing too much pressure on yourself is to focus on your partner’s pleasure for a while first. Take your time and give them some extra attention on their own without letting them stimulate you in return. Bringing your partner closer to orgasm before you even get started can help you stay in sync.
Adopt a slow and steady approach to lovemaking, as well. Taking your time gives you more time to truly savor the experience, as well as makes it easier to maintain your composure and last a lot longer. If you feel yourself getting too close too soon, try taking a break before getting back to it. You can also try to focus your mental attention elsewhere.
5. Make savvy product choices.
There are plenty of products out there on the market that can make it easier for you to stay the course in bed, as well. If you use condoms, browse the selection at your local drugstore or favorite shopping site for climax control varieties. They’re thicker and sometimes enhanced by a numbing agent to help the wearer last longer when it’s time for sex.
You can also buy lubes, creams, and sprays designed to desensitize your nerve endings slightly. Apply them about 15 minutes before you’re ready to have sex, and be sure to wear a condom to avoid desensitizing your partner, as well. If you’re comfortable, you can even discuss the possibility of medications that might help with your doctor.
Again, everyone has nights they’re off their game and can’t kill it in the bedroom the way they usually would, so be patient with yourself. And practice, practice, practice. You’ll be lasting the way you want to in no time.
