By now, just about everyone knows what turns most men on, as it’s nothing if not a hot topic. But pleasing a male partner is about more than developing a working understanding of what they like. It’s just as important to know what they don’t like, as well.
And some turn-offs are super obvious and pretty much universal. Others are less known but no less important. Here’s a close look at a few key male turn-offs anyone who at least occasionally sleeps with men should be aware of.
1. Just Lying There
Unless a particular guy is into that kind of thing for his own reasons, no man wants to have sex with a partner who just lies there without moving or giving the slightest indication that they’re alive. No one’s saying you need to bounce and gyrate like a porn star. You do want to participate, though.
He’s not as picky as you might be thinking. Just do what comes naturally to you and what feels good. He wants to know you’re present in the moment with him and that you’re enjoying what’s going on.
2. Having Perfunctory Sex
Contrary to what some believe, being turned down for sex isn’t the thing men dislike most when it comes to the bedroom. The turn-off is when their partners just go along to get along or otherwise treat sex with them like it’s a chore.
So, while it’s okay to nudge yourself in the direction of sex if you’re at least somewhat in the mood, it’s a lot better just to say “no thanks” if you really don’t want to. When your man tries to initiate sex with you, he’s not looking to be serviced. (He can do that himself.) He wants to connect with someone who’d like to connect with him, too.
3. Not Caring What He Likes
Chances are you don’t like being intimate with people who don’t ask what you want in bed or seem to care much, especially if you’re a woman. It should make sense that men also like to be asked what they like, what they’re in the mood for, or whether something their partner is doing feels good.
In other words, the golden rule definitely applies here. If you would like for your partner to check in with you, consider your needs, and ask what they are, then you should do the same for them.
4. Not Putting Effort into Things
Although there’s plenty to be said for spontaneity, everyone likes to see evidence that their partner cares about turning them on enough to put some effort into things. Men are no different. So yes, that sexy intimate wear you bought just for them makes a difference. So do your efforts to build sexual tension, flirt, and everything else.
But again, every guy is different in what he likes most. When in doubt, just ask. Maybe your partner likes sex toys in bed or a certain kind of lube but hasn’t gotten up the courage to ask you to try it. Asking him first gives him a chance to let you know what kind of effort really does it for him.
5. Making Comparisons
No one really likes being compared to someone else, and men are no exception here. This is the case even when the comparison supposedly works in their favor. For starters, comparisons undermine a person’s uniqueness and individuality – really not fair to anyone, but especially unfair to a partner.
Also, no one wants to be reminded of all the other guys their partner has slept with when they’re talking about sexy time. (It doesn’t matter if you’re doing it as a way of paying them a compliment.) It’s best to keep the focus entirely on the two of you.
6. Expecting to Receive Without Giving
When you go down on your partner (or otherwise cater to their individual pleasure) and they don’t return the favor, saying it bugs you is probably a real understatement. Well, it’s time you knew it also really bothers your man, even if he’s too nice to say anything to you about it.
Unless going the one-way route is the way the two of you actively decided to go about things that night, keep in mind that sharing is caring. After all, it’s the least you can do to thank him for rocking your world so hard.
At the end of the day, knowing your partner’s turn-offs is an absolute must, even when your partner is a man. It’s a common misconception that one thing is just as good as another regarding men. But your man deserves care, forethought, and effort, too. Give it to him, and watch what happens!
