Everyone knows that, sooner or later, every woman goes through menopause. They know that she goes through all sorts of changes that could affect her body function and sex drive, but most don’t know the details as far as what to expect. And even if they do know what to expect, they might not be fully prepared for the reality of menopause.
That said, menopause represents a significant change in any woman’s life. But it doesn’t have to change her sex life or her intimate life, whether it’s the one she shares with her partner or her solo sex life. Here’s a look at what you need to know to make it through menopause with yours intact.
Lube is your friend
Hopefully, by now, you’re already well aware that lube is much more than just something to reach for in a pinch when Mother Nature isn’t coming through on her own. A little lube can go a long way toward making any intimate encounter more pleasurable and enjoyable on lots of levels, whether you actually need it or not.
But when menopause is right around the corner, lube also happens to be the best possible way to keep sex comfortable and satisfying for both partners. During and after menopause, essential sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen circulate through the body at much lower levels. This can lead to issues like vaginal dryness, irritation, and occasional discomfort – especially during penetrative sex play.
Lube can be a godsend when it comes to keeping symptoms like those from getting in the way of your sex life. Just be sure the lube you choose is compatible with any condoms, toys, or accessories you might be using. Oil-based lubes and certain hybrid alternatives can damage the integrity of such items.
Give your sex drive time to get going
During and after menopause, the logistics of sexual desire become a little more complex. You’re less likely to be ready to get down and dirty at a moment’s notice, meaning lusty, spontaneous sex that occurs with zero notice might not be all that desirable anymore.
However, sex that you have time to anticipate and look forward to can be very satisfying indeed. Here are some steamy suggestions for incorporating that kind of sex into your routine a little more often.
- Draw out the experience of getting in the mood and anticipating sex by making a day or an evening of it more often. Plan romantic dates, treat each other to back rubs, enjoy the occasional naked Sundays at home, and so forth. Arousal starts in the mind first, and allowing more time for that process to occur leads to better, more satisfying sex all around.
- Stop thinking of foreplay as something that only happens a few minutes before the actual sex does. It can actually start as early in the day as you like. For example, flirty texts and sexy selfies throughout the day can help build anticipation for some naughty play later.
- If either you or your partner are busy or pressed for time, scheduling sex to ensure it remains a regular part of your schedule is a good idea. That not only keeps you connected and dialed into one another but – again – gives you plenty of time to get into the right mindset for sex in advance.
Embrace the magic of sex toys
Like lube, sex toys like vibrators may well already be part of your sexual routine, and with good reason. Vibrators and other toys allow pleasure seekers to experience sensations and stimulation types that would be impossible to access any other way.
And they’re not just a great way to spice up your private time, either. They make wonderful additions to a shared sex life with a partner. They can be especially helpful after menopause, as well. Here are some examples of how.
- Intense stimulation helps compensate for any sensation loss that may be related to lower hormone levels, lower levels of arousal, and more.
- Regular use of a vibrating sex toy can help encourage better blood flow to the genital region, which in turn offsets many of the undesirable symptoms of menopause.
- Adding vibrators to partnered play can help remove the pressure to have (or give) an orgasm for either party.
- Experimenting with different toys can help keep sex fun and exciting at every age.
Ultimately, menopause is never what you’d call a fun experience – especially not for the person actually going through it. But it’s nothing that can’t be overcome with compassionate communication, effort, planning, and experimentation. Eventually, you’ll settle on a collection of products, approaches, and methods that works well for you.
In the meantime, don’t be afraid to try a few different things to see how they hit you. You’ll both be glad you did.