If you’re like most people, you’ve had a few different lovers over the course of your lifetime. Most were probably fine in bed. But every once in a while, you likely found yourself between the sheets with someone who truly had the magic touch when it comes to sex – people you probably still think back on with awe.
People don’t just dream of being with lovers like that. They also want to become that sort of lover themselves – skilled, alluring, and utterly unforgettable. Here’s a closer look at what sets such lovers apart from the pack.
1. They’re amazing at reading nonverbal cues
The best lovers understand that so much of what people communicate is non-verbal, especially in the bedroom. After all, not everyone is super talkative or comfortable speaking up when it comes to sex. But their non-verbal cues will still speak volumes to someone who’s paying attention.
Exceptional lovers know how to read between the lines. They can intuit when their partner is completely turned on, as well as when something isn’t quite working for them. Then they instinctively switch gears accordingly.
2. They know how to make people feel safe in bed
Contrary to what some might believe, A-list lovers aren’t people who simply swoop in and take what they want from others. Instead, they understand that consent is not only sexy but a mandatory part of a great sexual experience.
That said, they know how important it is to make a partner feel safe with them, as well as heard and respected. Someone who feels safe with a lover also feels free to be their best, most authentic self in bed. That’s when the magic really happens.
3. They’re eager to learn what pleases their partner
Although raw sexual prowess can definitely help a person be a better lover, it’s impossible to get there without also understanding that every partner is different. What totally did it for one person might not be effective at all for another, but exceptional lovers genuinely enjoy the process of learning what makes each new partner tick.
A good lover wants to know all about the other person’s body and what gives them the most pleasure. And they’re open to adjusting their sexual approach accordingly. They truly crave that feeling that comes with knowing you just rocked someone’s world.
4. They’re comfortable talking openly about sex
Again, not every person is super comfortable talking frankly and openly about sex, and it’s important to respect boundaries. But exceptional lovers are always at least open to this sort of communication and know how much it can help a relationship.
They enjoy talking to their partners about topics like personal needs, pet fantasies, sexual health, masturbation, and all the rest of it. They’re also teachable and open to feedback. Yes, they want more of the things they enjoy most in bed, but they want to ensure their partners get enough of what they need and desire most, as well.
5. They’re eager to try new things
If there’s one thing all legendary lovers have in common, it’s their sexual curiosity and eagerness to try new things in the bedroom. They truly understand that novelty is the secret to a sex life that never gets stale, stagnant, or boring. They’re also open to exploring new experiences that interest them or their partner, whether that’s a new position or a new type of sex toy to try using together.
And they understand that judgment has no place in the bedroom, especially if they’re serious about making their partner feel safe. While no one should ever feel pressured to do anything they truly don’t want to do, no one should ever be made to feel ashamed of something that turns them on, either.
6. They’re masters at making a partner feel desired
Having a great time in the bedroom isn’t just about leaving the experience with a happy, satisfied body and libido. An exceptional lover also knows how to satisfy a person’s mind and heart by making them feel sexy, wanted, and desired. When they find something about that person beautiful or something they’re doing to be a complete turn-on, they speak up and tell them so.
They also understand that everyone’s different when it comes to how they experience arousal. Some people really do experience it spontaneously. But others prefer to be slowly, sensually, and deliberately seduced first. Again, exceptional lovers listen to their partners, paying attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues.
Ultimately, being a great lover isn’t necessarily about being the fittest, best-looking person in the room. It is about being empathetic, teachable, curious, and
considerate. Think back on the lovers you’ve had who qualified as great and think about what they all had in common. Chances are everything boils down to key qualities like these.