If you’ve ever been spanked by a partner and liked it (or fantasized about it), then you’re already at least somewhat familiar with the idea of impact play. The term “impact play” describes the act of hitting, slapping, spanking, or otherwise striking the body to generate sensations of pleasure.
Some types of impact play produce a thin, stinging sensation, while others are more about pounding or thudding experiences. A given impact player may be especially into one of those things or both, just depending on their preferences.
But while impact play can make an exciting addition to many people’s sexual routines, there’s a right way and a wrong way to approach it. Here’s a closer look at what you should know.
Consent is key when it comes to impact play
Some people really enjoy spanking and other forms of impact play, while others genuinely don’t understand the appeal. Neither of those attitudes is right or wrong, so it’s important to always respect a partner’s boundaries and comfort levels.
If you’re interested in impact play, it’s fine to talk to your partner about it and express an interest in exploring it together. It’s not fine to pressure someone into doing something they’re not comfortable with or to spring it on them in the heat of the moment. Always get a partner’s full consent before introducing anything new into your bedroom routine.
And keep in mind that consent goes both ways. A partner could be just as potentially uncomfortable with being on the giving end of the blows, so every foray into impact play should start with a frank discussion about boundaries.
Safety is vitally important, too
For the most part, popular approaches to impact play are safe. But when you’re delivering blows to another person’s body (or receiving them at the hands of a partner), safety is always a concern. If you don’t know where or how it’s okay to hit someone, you can genuinely hurt or injure them.
- Fleshy or muscled areas are generally fine to focus on – like the buttocks or the thighs.
- Avoid areas that fall over internal organs, major arteries, or bones – like the stomach or neck.
- Establish a safe word that either of you can use to shut down the play session at any time, no questions asked.
- Everyone’s body is different, so use a light touch until you’re more aware of what works.
Use the right gear
What you use to deliver the impact blows to a partner’s body makes a difference, both in the safety of what you’re doing and the quality of your play. Many people start with their own open palms, as with spanking or playful slapping, as it’s fairly easy to stay in control. (Some people like to slightly cup their palms to enhance the sound of the impact.)
Beyond that, it’s really always best to use actual gear designed for the purpose of impact play. Think options like floggers, crops, paddles, or spankers. They’re ideal for enhancing the sensations you’re after, as well as safe when used as intended. Never use potentially dangerous household items (like wires, cords, or anything bludgeon-like) to hit or strike a partner.
Practice makes perfect
No matter what tool you ultimately decide to use for exploring impact play, it’s important to get a feel for it before you use it to hit your partner. Grab a pillow and try hitting a few target spots with your tool of choice. How consistent are you able to be when it comes to hitting the exact spots you’re aiming for?
Pay attention to other details, as well. For example, how near or far do you need to be to your target to hit the spots you’re aiming for consistently? Different tools may require different techniques and approaches, so every new tool requires a practice session before using it during a play session.
Communicate before, during, and after
Once you and your partner have decided to move ahead with impact play, sit down together and have a thorough discussion about what you each expect out of the experience. Go over everything from your boundaries to any special turn-ons you have or scenarios you’d like to try.
Then keep the lines of communication open as you play. Check in with one another often to ensure they’re enjoying everything and to see if there’s anything they’d like you to do differently.
Practice aftercare by talking about the experience together afterward, too. How did each of you like it? Is this something you want to do again in the future? If so, how regularly? What would you like to do the same way, and what would you like to switch up next time?
Ultimately, adding impact play to your routine is a lot like trying anything else new in the bedroom. Approach it with care, communicate thoroughly, and take things slowly – one step and adventure at a time.
