If you’re like many pleasure seekers still learning the ropes as far as all the fascinating sex acts out there just waiting to be tried. You’ve probably heard of pegging before. You may even have a vague idea of what it entails and be curious about what it would feel like to try it.
But what is pegging, really? What’s involved, who should consider trying it, and – most importantly – how can you know whether it’s something to add to your own repertoire? Let’s dive into everything you need to know.
What Is Pegging?
Way back in 1998, Dr. Carol Queen released the sex-ed porn classic Bend Over Boyfriend, which just so happened to feature pegging. But it wasn’t until a few years later, when sex advice columnist Dan Savage held a contest on the topic, that this titillating act was actually given its name.
That said, pegging refers to a very specific sex act. The act of wearing a harness equipped with a dildo (or another penetrative toy) and using it to anally penetrate a partner. You most often hear people talking about pegging in contexts where a woman is wearing a strap-on and penetrating a man. But pegging can involve partners of either gender on both ends.
What’s the Appeal of Pegging?
Aside from simply feeling good on a physical level to many people, pegging offers sexually curious people a chance to push their boundaries and challenge widely established sexual norms in an exciting way. Among other things, pegging allows couples to:
- Flip the established script that dictates who does what (and why) during sex
- Play with potent themes like domination and submission
- Experiment with gender play, role reversal, and more
- Explore new ways to give and receive pleasure with a partner along for the ride
In other words, pegging offers couples a wonderful opportunity to fully explore their sexual selves on a variety of different levels. It appeals to more people than you might think.
How to Try Pegging for the First Time
Knowing that pegging sounds like something you and your partner might enjoy is one thing, but doing it is something else entirely. As with any new sexual experience, it pays to be prepared. Here are some tips for getting things right.
Talk things through
You should never, ever spring anything brand new on a partner when you’re in bed together. Especially when you’re talking about something as far off the beaten trail as pegging can be for some.
Consent is essential, so always talk to your partner first outside of a sexual context. Tell them what’s on your mind, ask them how they feel about it, and if they’re into it, set some ground rules for giving it a try sometime.
And if they’re not into it? Respect your partner’s feelings. Give them some time and space to think about it, as well, if they’re not sure. They may come around on their own after they’ve had a chance to reconsider, but be prepared for the possibility that they won’t.
Consider your necessary gear
If you and your partner do decide you’d like to go ahead with a first pegging experience, make sure you give plenty of thought to what you’ll need to make your adventure a good one. Options include:
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- A strapon harness that fits you properly and stays in place when you’re in motion
- A harness-compatible dildo that suits both you and your partner
- Lots and lots of lube
When it comes to dildos, choose one with a well-flared base that will be both compatible with your strapon harness and safe for anal use. And it should go without saying that the size and shape should seem both tantalizing and approachable to the receiving partner.
And it’s impossible to overemphasize the importance of a good fit for the giving partner. You want your harness to be comfortable and snug enough to keep the dildo flush against your body. The better the fit, the better connected you’ll feel to your equipment throughout the experience.
Take it slow
Anytime you’re trying something new in bed, it can take a minute for the body (and mind) to adjust to what’s going on. This is especially the case when the activity at hand involves anal penetration, and the receiving partner is a beginner in this area.
Take things very, very slowly. Use an abundance of lube, and keep the lines of communication open from start to finish. The giving partner should ask periodically how things feel, if the receiving partner likes it, etc. And the receiver should definitely let their partner know how they’re doing throughout.
Once you’re done, be sure to check in with one another again about what just happened. How did each of you feel about it? Is it something you’d like to try again? What might you like to do differently next time?
From there, anything goes. Try out different positions, switch up your dildos or lube, and just plain have fun.
