Although not everything about being single is a walk in the park, some experiences remind you why it’s worth it. First dates that are so magical, they end in mind-blowing first-date sex are perhaps among the biggest perks, and with good reason. There’s just something about experiencing that kind of chemistry with someone right away, even if it’s just for one night, that adds color to the canvas of your dating life.
However, there’s a fine art to making sure first date sex – when it does happen – is an otherworldly interlude for the record books instead of an awkward encounter you can’t wait to forget. Here are some tips for ensuring it’s the former and not the latter.
Choose the right setting for your date.
If you’ve got a date coming up with someone smoking hot enough to make you hope things take a sexy turn at some point, make sure you choose your setting with care. Suggest a place you know you’ll feel comfortable, but make sure the environment will help put your date at ease.
Public spaces with an enjoyable atmosphere or vibe are always good choices. Just make sure it’s also quiet enough that you’ll be able to keep some interesting conversation going. Some witty banter and a little light flirting are the secret sauce for a date that ends in sparks.
Break the touch barrier early on.
A little casual physical affection is a great way to set the tone for your date and test the waters for chemistry early on. Just keep it innocent and non-threatening until your date lets you know they’re cool with more. Think playful pats on the shoulder or sitting close enough to the person that your knees have a chance to touch.
If your date either makes the first move on their own or shows receptivity to you doing it, make sure to show them you’re intrigued by their actions and open to more of the same. Of course, you can do this verbally or physically – whatever feels most natural to you.
Leave it up to them to decide how the date ends.
If all goes well while you’re out together and feel that familiar sexy vibe developing, feel free to invite them over to your place. But leave it up to them and be respectful of it if they prefer to take things more slowly.
And if they do decide to come home with you (or you with them), make sure they really do still want things to get physical once you get there. Yes, consent can be non-verbal, but verbal consent is better. So, tell them explicitly what you’re thinking and make sure they want it, too. And make sure you’re both on the same page about the kind of sex you want before moving forward.
Be prepared ahead of time.
The secret to spontaneous sex that really hits all the right notes is a little preparedness “just in case,” so think ahead before finalizing a date you hope might end in the bedroom. Stay stocked up on condoms so that you’re always ready if a date unexpectedly ends in the bedroom. But comprehensive preparedness to have a good time doesn’t stop there.
You should also keep plenty of other things on hand to help you or your date have a better, more pleasurable time. Think options like a personal lubricant, fresh towels, and perhaps even a toy or two. Be sure to look after the emotional safety of yourself and your date, too. For instance, decide in advance whether you’ll spend the whole night together, have breakfast in the morning, or get in touch the next day.
Be a gracious host.
How things go after a good roll in the hay affects how mind-blowing a round of first-date sex seems in retrospect, so make sure to keep the good vibes going after you’re done. Let your date know how much you’ve enjoyed their company. Ask them how they’re doing and whether there’s anything they need there at the moment. In other words, do your best to be a good host and treat the other person the way you’d want to be treated in their shoes.
Be sure to be honest and upfront about what you’re thinking regarding future connection, too. If you’d like to see them again, let your date know and perhaps even make some plans. But if you’re not looking for anything serious, make sure you’re honest about that, as well. Either way, end by reminding them of what an incredible time you had.
First-date sex is best when it’s allowed to evolve naturally and simply be what it is, so live in the moment, play things by ear, and see what happens. You’ll be glad you did.