Sex may not be everything in a relationship, but it is incredibly important. Without good quality sex as part of the mix, couples can have trouble connecting and staying close, especially over the years. However, it’s one thing to want to keep your relationship healthy by keeping your sex life alive. Actually accomplishing that takes effort.
A little innovation and creativity don’t exactly hurt, either, especially when initiating sex. You don’t have to wait until you’re in bed together at the end of the day to get something started, though. Here are some tips, suggestions, and alternatives to help you keep things fresh anytime and anywhere the mood may strike you.
1. Get your sext on.
Some of the hottest, most effective foreplay doesn’t start right before you’re about to get down and dirty. It starts hours before while the two of you are going about the business of the day. The next time you think you’ll be in the mood for a little action later on, let your partner know what’s on your mind with a spicy text or two.
You don’t necessarily have to initiate a full-on sexting session (unless you want to, that is.) A one-liner or two letting them know they’re on your mind in a particular context will do. So will a sexy selfie that gives them a preview of coming attractions.
2. Start with a massage.
If your partner’s like almost everyone else on the planet, they find a soothing massage very hard to turn down. Massages are a great way to unwind at the end of a long day at the office or work the kinks out of tired muscles after a grueling workout. They’re also an incredible way to initiate mind-blowing sex.
Start with a standard rubdown, but let your touch linger longer and become more seductive as you work your way down south. Don’t be afraid to introduce a few useful props, either. Sensual oils and scented lubes add dimension to a massage. A classic wand massager can add some sexy oomph, as well, especially as you head toward the happy ending portion of your massage.
3. Share a shower.
If you’re looking for a great way to have spontaneous sex more often, everyday bathing rituals like showers and baths provide ample opportunity. You’re naked, wet, warm, and slippery – all great things to be when you’re hoping something naughty might be soon to follow. Plus, most people shower daily, so making something sexy happen is often as easy as deciding to join your partner in the morning.
If shower sex is something the two of you enjoy, as a rule, don’t be afraid to turn up the sexy factor a little. Pick out some waterproof toys to experiment with together, and take turns showing up for tub time with your favorites firmly in hand.
4. Dress with the deed in mind.
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with getting all decked out in your favorite BDSM get-up if you want to send a clear signal to your partner, you don’t have to go quite that far. However, making a few ensemble choices with sexy time in mind can be a subtle (and advantageous) way to let your partner know you’re totally up for it if they are.
Wear something a little sexier or sleeker than you’d typically choose for date night – something that not only makes you feel like a runway model but that you know your partner would love to see you in. Alternatively, you can upgrade just your underwear to something a little racier and more flattering than average. Just make sure your partner gets a little peek at whatever it is so they know exactly what’s up.
5. Grab it like you want it.
Sometimes when you’re really in the mood, there’s nothing quite as effective as cutting straight to the chase. The next time you see a golden opportunity to have your way with your partner, jump on it. Grab them, tell them precisely what you’re thinking, and tell them in detail what you’d like them to do about it.
Choosing the location, mood, setting, and pace of a sexual encounter is an empowering way to get what you really want a lot more often. Providing your partner with clear instructions on how to proceed clues them into what you’re craving and how they can scratch that itch for you. It’s hot, it’s sexy, and it’s a great way to make them feel desired.
Of course, these are just a few of the many ways you can get proactive about initiating sex and keeping it interesting, but they’re a solid place to start. Don’t hesitate to come up with even more scenarios of your own. Bring a favorite fantasy to life, follow through on a whim, or go after a repeat performance of an encounter you enjoyed in the past. It’s up to you!