Whether you’re looking to get the jump on your next round of holiday shopping or simply want a special occasion gift that really breaks the mold, it only makes sense to wonder whether a sex toy might be an option. After all, sex toys are nothing if not fun. Plus, people are more sex positive and open about their intimate lives than ever. But… can you give a sex toy as a gift? And more importantly, should you?
The fact of the matter is the right sex toy can make a terrific gift. However, there’s definitely an etiquette to gifting them. Here we’ll go over everything you need to know about the process. We’ll cover when they’re appropriate (and when they’re not). We’ll touch on how you can make sure that special person in your life will love what you chose as well.
To Gift or Not to Gift?
Naturally, the first order of business when gifting a sex toy is to decide whether or not that’s really what you want to give the person at all. Let the following tips take the guesswork out of figuring it out.
1. Know who you should give a sex toy to and who you shouldn’t
Yes, we’re living in a day and age that finds people talking openly about very intimate aspects of their lives (sex and masturbation included). In fact, you’re probably close with at least a couple that do. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea to give any of those people a sex toy for Christmas.
Sex toys are best gifted to a significant other – someone you’re currently sexually involved with to one degree or another. Don’t give one to someone you’re hoping to have sex with eventually but haven’t yet, even if you’re technically dating. Don’t give one to anyone you used to be involved with and no longer are either.
2. If you’re not sure, err on the side of caution
At this point, there are probably at least a couple of readers thinking: “So I can’t give my best friend/sister/mom a vibrator? We talk about sex toys together all the time and I’m positive they’d really appreciate one as a gift.” If that’s honestly the case, then of course you can!
The important thing is to trust your instincts. If you’re really not sure whether it would be a bad idea to gift a sex toy to someone specific, that’s your signal that it’s almost definitely a bad idea. Sex toys can be amazing gifts for the right recipients, but cause an incredible degree of awkwardness for the wrong ones. If you’re already sure it’s a great idea though? Go for it!
3. Go over what you know about the recipient
It’s important to understand that sex toys aren’t a “one size fits all” type of deal. There’s a lot of difference between someone who’s just started building a collection and someone that’s been using sex toys for years. That said, make sure you carefully consider what you know about the person you’re buying for before you go out and choose something.
Do they already own a few sex toys or are they completely new to the experience? If they do own toys, have the two of you used any of them together? If they don’t own toys, have they specifically told you they’d like to get one? The answers to questions like these can go a long way toward determining whether or not a toy is really the right gift.
What to Consider When Choosing a Toy
Buying a sex toy to gift to someone else is a lot like buying any other type of gift. You naturally want to make sure they’ll love what you picked out, right? Make sure you keep the following in mind and you’ll be sure to do exactly that.
1. Size
Technically speaking, there isn’t really a right or wrong choice when it comes to the size of a given toy, but you should go with what makes the most sense. If you happen to know the recipient prefers something insanely huge, definitely go that route. If you’re really not sure though, it’s better to err on the smaller side. Smaller toys are much less intimidating, especially for someone that’s relatively new to using them. They’re also easier to use safely until the person gets the hang of things.
2. Stimulation
Hopefully if you’re considering giving someone a sex toy for their birthday or for Christmas, you already have a pretty good idea what type of stimulation they’d be most interested in. If you’re intimate together, how do they most enjoy being touched? Do they like to be penetrated or all they all about clitoral stimulation? If you’re buying for a friend, have they expressed an interest in trying something specific? Remember, it never hurts to ask if you’re not sure.
3. Kink Factor
Whether you’ll be logging onto an online sex toy emporium or still prefer to do your shopping the old-fashioned way, you’ll want to be prepared for the sheer number of options out there on the market these days. Unless you know for a fact that the person you’re buying for is open to novelty items and kinkier options, it’s best to stick to the basics. Go for a versatile, non-intimidating choice like a vibrating egg or magic bullet. If you really want to pick something different try something soft or luxurious like a feather tickler.
4. Aesthetics
Sex toys come in as many colors and styles as you can possibly imagine, but a good way to narrow down your options is to consider your recipient’s taste in fashion. Is this a person who loves clean classic pieces in neutral tones? Choose a sleek toy in basic black or white. Are they really into bright neon colors, animal prints, or items with a little sparkle to them? There are toys out there designed with their preferences in mind as well. Would they appreciate something discreet they can take absolutely anywhere without worrying about who might see it? There are mini-vibes on the market made to resemble everyday items like lipstick or tubes of mascara.
Best Occasions for Gifting a Sex Toy
As you can see, a sex toy really can be a clever, appropriate gift for the right person. You do need to consider whether or not the occasion itself is an appropriate fit though. Never give an erotic gift for a baby shower, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or a bar mitzvah (to name just a handful of examples). If it’s one of the following though, game on!
1. Christmas
In case there was any doubt, Christmas is a perfectly good time to gift a sex toy to the right person. (After all, some of us really do prefer to be more naughty than nice!) Plus, winter is the perfect time for couples and individuals alike to stay in, get cozy, and experiment.
2. Valentine’s Day
This is probably the best possible time to give a partner a sex toy as a gift for obvious reasons. It makes for a nice departure from the standard flowers and chocolates. It’s a simple, straightforward way to make sure a Valentine’s Day play session is fresh and exciting as well.
3. Bachelorette Party
Is any bachelorette party really complete until something racy, sexy, or penis-shaped is involved? If you’re on the fence about buying a sex toy for someone you’re not sexually involved with, this is perhaps the most appropriate occasion you could ever hope for. A sex toy is a tongue-in-cheek gift the bride is actually likely to use as well!
4 Anniversaries
If you’ve been thinking about gifting your spouse with a sex toy the two of you can use together but don’t know when the right time would be, consider doing it for your next anniversary. Adding an option like a couple’s vibrator or a vibrating cock ring to the mix is an excellent way to take your married or committed sex life to the next level.
5. Before Spending Time Apart
Here in the 21st century, it’s far from a rarity for a couple to have to spend extended periods of time apart. However, the right sex toys can really help take the edge off, not to mention help bring you closer together. (Think synched toy pairs that actually let you “feel” each other as you play no matter where you happen to be!) Consider gifting one to your spouse or significant other right before leaving for a business trip or flying home after a long, rewarding visit. You’ll love the extra dimension it adds to your next phone sex session or dirty video chat.
