Sex appeal – it’s something absolutely everyone wants and responds to when they encounter it in others. However, while we definitely get that it matters, sex appeal as a concept is notoriously hard to define.  We know it when we see it, but we also understand that it’s about so much more than just a person’s looks or how great they are in bed. Here we’ll go over everything you ever wanted to know about sex appeal, particularly how to boost yours through the roof and keep it working for you at any age.

So, What Is Sexy Anyway?

It’s easy to see what’s sexy about someone with a model-perfect face or a smoking hot gym body, but what about everyone else? We all have friends that have to beat potential paramours away with a stick despite the fact that they aren’t conventionally attractive. So what do they have going for them that others don’t? No two people or situations are exactly alike, but there are a few traits nearly all sexy people have in common.

  1. They’re body language masters

It’s true what they say about body language. Not only does it matter, but it truly does speak volumes. Sexy people understand this and they’re not afraid to let their bodies do the talking. They make eye contact at key points in conversations. They stand and walk in a way that conveys confidence and openness, both qualities that are very attractive. They’re not afraid to dress in a style that flatters their natural shape either.

  1. They keep it positive

Everyone feels the need to vent once in a while, but no one likes someone who’s constantly complaining. People with sex appeal understand that negativity is the furthest thing from attractive. They definitely know date night isn’t the proper time and place for venting about their unfair boss or the traffic during their morning commute, even if they’re married or in a long-term relationship.

  1. They’re always up for trying something new

Sexy, attractive people don’t insist on living within their comfort zones. They’re always open to new experiences, both in and out of the bedroom. Weekend cooking class? New workout routine? Awesome new sex position? Sex toys and roleplaying? Bring it on! In other words, they’re potentially open to just about anything and that’s something other people find almost unbearably attractive.

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  1. They genuinely enjoy helping others

People who genuinely love helping others definitely have amazing characters, but they’re ahead of everyone else in the sex appeal department as well. Not only does being around a selfless person put you in an instant good mood, but it inspires you to be more helpful to others yourself. It’s hard not to find someone attractive when they so consistently make others around them feel like the most important people on the planet. Some experts even theorize that selflessness could be indicative of better genes, as well as a greater willingness to share in household responsibilities, so there could be biological advantages to being helpful as well.

  1. They leverage the power of mystery

While it’s true that exposure and mere familiarity can lead to a mutual state of “like” between too people, there’s also a lot to be said for a little mystery. Sexy people are experts at walking the fine line between the two. They know how to leave a little something to the imagination without being outright aloof. They also understand the importance of keeping things fresh in a relationship and not just between the sheets. (Remember what we said about people who love to try new things!)

In a nutshell, sexy people are well-rounded, positive, adventurous human beings who make others around them feel amazing just by being who they are. Yes, it certainly helps to be drop dead gorgeous, but it’s not a requirement by any stretch of the imagination.

Keeping It Sexy for the Long Haul

Contrary to what some may believe, your sex appeal doesn’t diminish with age. What it does do is change. You might eventually have to work harder when it comes to certain things than you did when you were younger. You’ll definitely need to be open to letting your sexuality evolve naturally as you age, but it’s more than possible. (Just look at Sam Elliott or Susan Sarandon, to name just two examples!) The following tips can help you make sure you stay your absolute sexiest for the rest of your life. Great tips for initiating unforgettable sex too!

  1. Be yourself

Maybe sky-high stilettos, push-up bras, and tons of black eyeliner were your secrets to feeling like a million bucks when you were younger. If they still feel like “you” once you reach middle age, it’s fine to stick with them. However, it’s also fine to let your look evolve alongside your personality and lifestyle as you grow older. Some people find they feel sexiest doing less (or maybe more) than they once did and that’s OK too.

  1. Confidence trumps conventional attractiveness

Remember what we said about how wonderfully irresistible confidence is? That’s one thing that definitely won’t change as you age and you can definitely use that to your advantage. If you love your body and are proud of how you look, other people will definitely notice. That said, make sure that whatever you do to stay sexy, you’re doing it for you – because it makes you feel smoking hot, not because it’s what you think someone else wants to see from you. People are most attracted to those that are clearly comfortable in their own skins and strut their stuff proudly without apology.

  1. Don’t stop working on yourself

Positive change and self-improvement aren’t just for the young. People that continue to be considered red hot sexy as they age never lose that passion for living they had when they were younger. They take good care of themselves, both inside and out. They know how important it is to eat right and exercise, especially when you’re older. And they also continue to educate themselves, learn new things, and take up new hobbies that challenge them to reach new heights of excellence.

  1. Master the fine art of flirting

If you’re truly concerned about losing your sex appeal as you grow older, it’s well worth your while to flex those flirting muscles more often. Flirting helps you retain your know-how and confidence when it comes to connecting with potential lovers or partners. It also gives both you and the other person a pleasant high – a surefire sign that you’ve definitely still got it. Plus, it’s just plain fun, so do it!

At the end of the day, it’s simply not true that sex and sex appeal are only for those in their 20’s and 30’s. However, like your muscles and physical flexibility, sex appeal is something you either use or lose. Look for opportunities in your daily life to focus on being sexy, feeling attractive, and staying confident on an ongoing basis. Staying sexy through middle age and beyond isn’t much different from doing it when you’re young. Just make it a part of your daily lifestyle and it’s hard to go wrong.