When a relationship is brand new, keeping things exciting seems to require little to no effort. Not only do you feel completely optimistic about your future together, but everything seems to click into place all by itself, right? The fact that you can’t seem to keep your hands off each other makes staying steamy in the bedroom a cinch too. It’s only after you’ve been together a while that you really have to work at it.
Thankfully, there’s a fine art to keeping your relationship hot, spicy, and passionate pretty much indefinitely and yes, it is the type of thing you can learn. In fact, the following are some simple, but effective ways you can start recapturing some of that old, familiar spark both in and out of the bedroom today.
Schedule a date night
The longer you and your partner have been together, the more responsibilities you’re likely to have, both together and separately. Each of you has a professional life and a social schedule to juggle and coordinate with the other person’s. You may even have children together that need to be cared for as well. All of these things make it challenging at best to make enough time for one another.
Find some time today to plan a romantic date for a night that works for both of you this coming week. (Better yet, clear your schedules if you can and do it tonight!) Now start taking steps to make date night a weekly “no matter what” thing. Treat date night with the same level of importance you would any other important meeting or social obligation.
Pick up a new hobby as a couple
When you and your beloved first started dating, you bonded as a couple by doing things together. You went places. You tried things. You went out of your way to explore the many ways life could be better and more fun in a relationship instead of all by yourself. Who says you can’t do the same thing right now?
Choose something to start doing together that you both enjoy or feel passionate about. It can be something you used to do but no longer make time for or it can be something completely new. You can volunteer, sign up for a class, or take up an active hobby. The possibilities are endless.
Schedule a couple’s massage
When you’re burning the candle at both ends, life can literally leave you in knots. Taking some time to relax and decompress on a regular basis is absolutely essential and nothing gets the kinks out quite like a professional massage. Instead of making an appointment to visit your favorite masseuse on your own, make it an appointment for two instead. Doing something romantic, fun, and indulgent together during the day is the perfect lead-in to some sexy play later on.
Can’t get an appointment at the spa that works for both of you, or simply prefer to stay home? You can treat each other to the same amazing experience with the right accessories. Treat yourself to some luxurious scented massage oils and take turns pampering each other from head to toe. Alternatively, you can invest in a handy wand massager. Wand massagers are perfect for working out serious muscle kinks after a grueling workout or a long day at the office. They also do excellent double duty as vibrators. Try starting with an innocent muscle treatment and playfully working your way up to something much more erotic.
Go shopping for sex toys together
Frequency isn’t always the issue when a given couple feels like things are lacking in the spice department. Many couples have sex just as often as they always have, but complain that it feels routine, predictable, or – worst of all – boring. They’re not sure how to fix it, as they definitely still love and desire each other as much as always. Sex toys are the ideal way to make sex exciting again for both partners on a number of different levels and there are hundreds of different options to choose from.
Have you always wanted to explore anal play or BDSM? What about temperature play or role play? Are you interested in some fun new ways to enhance sensation during intercourse for both of you? Whatever you’re into or hoping to achieve with your lovemaking, we can promise you there’s a toy for that! Set aside some time today to talk about what you’re each interested in and browse the offerings at your favorite online sex emporium. Order one or two options to experiment with and start getting excited as you await the arrival of your shipment.
Get back in the habit of flirting with one another
When you first met your partner, you could probably barely control your urge to flirt with them, right? Whether you were all about demure compliments on their appearance or feisty comments that made it clear how badly you wanted to get them naked later, you likely always had something flirtatious to say. Flirting can be just as powerful now as it was then, so it’s well worth making a habit of it.
Try consciously looking at your partner through fresh eyes and going out of your way to tell them what you love about them. Playfully caress them, tease them, or joke with them the way you used to. Put technology to good use and send them a text or email to let them know you’re missing them or thinking of them. If five-alarm sexy is your thing, definitely feel free to send the occasional racy selfie or sext as well, just like you would have if you’d just gotten together.
Take on a new challenge together
Most of us have something we’d really like to change about ourselves or our lifestyle that we just haven’t gotten around to yet. Maybe you want to get back in shape and finally lose that pesky 20 pounds that have crept on over the years. Perhaps you’ve been meaning to get more involved in your community, try going vegetarian, overcome a fear, or kick a bad habit for good.
There’s no time like the present, so consider making that change today along with your partner. Taking on a challenge as a couple is one of the best ways to reconnect. You get to grow together and be each other’s cheerleader every step of the way. Best of all, your chances of success increase exponentially when you involve someone else in your efforts. You’ll definitely grow closer as a couple, so don’t be surprised if you feel that old spark coming back as the two of you experience the high of accomplishment together.
Stroke your partner’s ego a little
You know you love your partner – that you need them, desire them, and can’t picture your life without them. They almost certainly know it too, but people still need to hear those things expressed out loud every once in a while. It’s especially important if you’ve been together a while, as everyone likes to be assured their partner’s feelings for them haven’t changed over the years.
That said, go out of your way to compliment your partner today and let them know how much you appreciate, love, and desire them. Tell them they’re the best thing that ever happened to you. Tell them they’re hot. If you’re hoping to spark a little sizzle in the bedroom later on, tell them how wet or hard they make you. Make this an ongoing habit and buckle up, because it will definitely take you places as far as your bedroom game goes.
Don’t skimp on the PDA
Naturally, R-rated PDA isn’t for everyone. However, it’s important to understand that PDA doesn’t have to involve dry humping each other on the subway or engaging in a full throttle make-out session at a restaurant. Even something as simple as holding hands, whispering something romantic into your partner’s ear, exchanging a soft kiss, or looking for innocent ways to touch one another can work wonders when it comes to feeling connected.
At the end of the day, how we express our feelings for our partner in front of others is important. Some hand holding or modest kissing in public once in a while shows your partner that you’re proud to be with them. You’re essentially telling the world that they’re yours and you want everyone to know it. Who wouldn’t be flattered by that?
Treat your partner to a sweet surprise
Everyone loves surprises or little spontaneous gestures now and again, but when we’ve been in a relationship a while, it’s easy to forget how much our partners might appreciate a little something out of the ordinary. That said, think of a way you can treat your partner to a surprise today. It can be as innocent or sexy as you like.
Greet them at the door completely naked or dressed in a negligee you know they like on you. Surprise them with a home-cooked meal eaten by candlelight. Wake them up tomorrow morning with some eager oral sex. Plan an impromptu getaway for that holiday weekend that’s coming up. Be creative! It’ll definitely pay off in a big way.