Have you ever really wanted something in the bedroom without quite knowing how to ask for it? Maybe you were afraid of what your partner would think or – even more likely – you just weren’t sure how to express yourself right there in the moment without totally killing the mood. We’ve all been there a time or two and your man is no exception.
Many women simply assume that men are always confident enough to ask for what they want, but the fact of the matter is, they sometimes get a little tongue-tied as well. The following are just a few things your man is dying to ask you to do to take your lovemaking to the next level. Take a few for a spin this Valentine’s Day and he’s sure to thank you for it.
Put your hands to good use more often
Plenty of men wish their ladies would take the initiative and be more physically active in bed. However, they don’t want you to stop at the obvious. If your man is like most, he’s dying for you to put your hands to work and touch him more often in any way that moves you.
Grab his ass while he’s on top of you or run your fingers over his chest when you’re riding him cowgirl style. Run your fingers through his hair and even try pulling it gently if it’s long enough. Definitely feel free to wrap your arms and legs around him, especially when you’re really into what he’s doing to you.
Be the one to get the ball rolling
You don’t have to be a woman to sometimes feel a little insecure and wonder if your partner finds you as desirable as you find them. Even the most confident men go through the same thing from time to time, especially if they’re always the initiators when it comes to any kind of sexual activity.
If you’re rarely the one to get the ball rolling when it comes to sex, the chances are pretty good that your man wishes you’d take the reins a little more often. Doing so will definitely help alleviate any performance anxiety or pressure he might feel from time to time. Plus, it’s just plain hot to feel like your beloved still burns for you, especially when you’ve been together a while.
Give him head more often
If your guy is like most, blow jobs rank pretty high on his list of favorite sexual activities. If you aren’t going down on him, he almost definitely wishes you would. And if blow jobs are already part of your sexual repertoire, he probably wants more of them and with good reason. The sensation of a warm, eager mouth wrapped around your member plus the intimacy of the act itself is a winning combination for sure.
Definitely take the initiative and blow him more often, at least as foreplay. He wants to know that you’re into it and don’t always need to be asked or coaxed into it. You can also consider making the occasional head session a little more special by adding a luxurious oral sex cream or a strategically placed bullet vibrator to the mix.
Be open to kink and experimentation
Everyone harbors at least a couple of long-standing sexual fantasies that they’d like to explore, but never talk about for fear of being judged. It’s highly unlikely that your male partner is any exception. However, he may be worried about what you’d think of him if he ever brought them up for serious discussion.
An adventurous nature and a little willingness go a long way. Try bringing the topic of sexual fantasies and personal kinks up for discussion yourself sometime. Create a mutual no-judgment zone where the two of you can take turns exchanging fantasies. Pick one or two each that you’d both be open to and make it a point to explore those fantasies further at some point in the future.
Crave and pursue your own orgasm
If you rarely to never reach orgasm through intercourse alone, you’re in excellent company. About 75% of all women are in the same boat. However, while orgasms aren’t necessarily the be-all and end-all of a sexual experience, they’re honestly way too good to miss out on. Plus, your man absolutely wants you to have a good time and could be taking it personally if you literally never orgasm with him.
Definitely don’t resort to faking it though. Instead, become more proactive about your pleasure when it’s time to get down and dirty with your man. Be communicative about what kind of stimulation makes you orgasm and ask for it in bed. You may also want to consider bringing some fun new toys into the bedroom (i.e. vibrating cock rings or bullet vibes) to spice things up for both of you, as well as increase your own chances of orgasming.
Pay more attention his balls
A man’s balls and scrotal area have the potential to deliver a lot of pleasure, but they’re often completely overlooked. Sure, some guys have just never gotten around to fully exploring the possibilities themselves, but it’s a lot more likely that yours isn’t quite sure how to tell you he’d like you to give his crown jewels a little TLC now and again.
Try cupping them, stroking them, or licking them during foreplay (or even the main event itself). Play with them gently as you suck him to take a blowjob to brand new heights. Vibrations also feel good against a guy’s balls, so a little vibrator-play is never a bad idea. He’ll not only enjoy the added sensation, but he’ll love that you care enough about his pleasure to go the extra mile. Just be sure to handle with care!
Be more comfortable in your own skin
As women, we’re often told to be more comfortable with our bodies, but obviously that’s easier said than done. Everyone’s insecure about something, whether that’s their weight, their crooked smile, or that one “problem feature” they’ve never quite been able to embrace.
Even so, know that your man would love it if you loved your own body more. He doesn’t want to hear you put yourself down or shrug off compliments he pays you. He wants you to see yourself as the hot, beautiful sexual dynamo that you are. Try seeing yourself through his eyes a little more often and be kind to yourself. If you’re not quite there yet, fake it ‘til you make it. The very act of banishing negative self-talk alone can work wonders for a woman’s confidence both in and out of the bedroom.
Put some effort into creating a mood
It’s a common misconception that men don’t like, want, or appreciate romance. They absolutely do, especially when they’re in a long-term relationship with someone they love. What’s more, they appreciate those special touches more thoroughly than they probably express on an everyday basis.
That said, definitely do make special occasions even more special by setting a mood. Put on that romantic playlist you’ve had earmarked for a while and light those candles. Definitely buy sexy lingerie in a style you know he likes and take the time to get all dolled up for him. A sweetly sensual massage with some fragrant body oil certainly never hurt anyone either.
Let your enthusiasm show
Everyone loves that feeling that comes along with knowing your sex partner is super into whatever’s being done to them and your guy is definitely no exception. He can’t read your mind though, nor should you want him to. If something feels good, he wants you to tell him in no uncertain terms.
How you do this is completely up to you. You can certainly express yourself with a little spicy talk, but moaning is definitely acceptable as well (not to mention hot). Just don’t hold back as far as expressing your enthusiasm for your lover and everything he’s doing to make you feel so good.
Be a little spontaneous
It’s natural and normal to fall into something of a routine when you’ve been with someone a while. Knowing what to expect from your partner and when to expect it can definitely be a positive thing in some contexts, but it can make sex predictable and even boring.
Don’t let sex become too much of a routine, always doing it in the same positions and places at the same times. Seize the occasional opportunity to be spontaneous now and again. Have impromptu sex at random times of the day should the mood strike you or get frisky in public once in a while (with care, of course). Go with the feeling if you feel the sudden urge to try a new position or switch things up and be responsive to your partner’s efforts to be spontaneous as well. Your sex life (and your relationship) will be better for it!