Sexual lulls happen to the best of us no matter how much we love our partners. By the time you’re finished juggling work, family, and busy social schedules, getting naughty might be the last thing on your mind. Of course, you don’t want to let your sex life fall by the wayside, but sometimes that’s easier said than done when your libido just won’t cooperate.
We’ll go over some must-know tips for recapturing that old familiar urge no matter how demanding your schedule might be. We’ll cover some handy libido boosting tips for when and if your partner’s in the mood and give you some advice for coping while things sort themselves out as well. Better sex and more of it is closer to becoming your reality again than you think!
1. Engage in honest discussion with your partner.
Yes, sex is important when it comes to building and maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner… but communication is more important. Whether you know why your libido hasn’t been keeping up lately or not, the first thing you’ll want to do is sit your partner down for a heart-to-heart.
Communicating with your partner keeps them from wondering what’s going on or simply worrying that they might be the problem. It serves as a handy heads up that right now, it’s going to take a little extra effort to get your motor running. If anything, they’ll put more effort into foreplay as a way to help you along and that’s never a bad thing.
2. Start hitting the gym more often.
The benefits exercise brings to the table when it comes to your sex life are almost many to count. It helps boost energy levels, making it less likely that you’ll feel too pooped to tango at the end of the day. It improves your health in lots of ways, including keeping libido related hormones at ideal levels and boosts circulation, mood, stamina, and self-esteem as well.
That said, if you’re not already exercising on the regular, start. If you’re already exercising, consider redoubling your efforts in the gym. Medical experts suggest getting a minimum of 150 minutes of moderately intense exercise every week plus full-body strength training twice a week. Start by reaching that minimum, seeing where you’re at, and taking it from there.
3. Try noshing on some aphrodisiacs.
We’re all familiar with the saying: “You are what you eat.” That’s because we really do get out of our bodies what we put into them. As touched on above, exercise is certainly a big part of that equation, but so is diet. Try cutting back on high-calorie, high-fat junk foods and upping your intake of lean proteins, whole grains, and fresh produce. You’ll feel better in every aspect of your life, including your sex life.
You might also want to try filling your belly with foods known for getting your sexual engines running. Examples include but are not limited to oysters, avocados, bananas, pomegranates, melons, chocolate, and red wine. Try putting together a romantic dinner for yourself and your partner that includes a few of those items and see what happens next.
4. Slip into something a little more comfortable.
We’re not talking about your favorite pair of lived-in sweats either. Sometimes all you need to feel a little sexier is to dress the part, especially if you’ve gotten super comfortable with our partner. Start with your everyday look. Wear flattering clothing in colors you love and styles that make you feel like a million dollars. Go ahead and spend the extra time on your hair, make-up, or grooming routine as well – not because you need to, but because you’re worth it.
You’ll also want to up your game in the lingerie department. If it’s been a while since you treated yourself to something new, splurge on a few new matching sets that make you feel amazing. That attitude won’t be able to help but carry over into your sex life. Already pretty set when it comes to pretty underthings to wear on an everyday basis? Try picking out a few special items just to wear to bed or in front of your partner.
5. Go shopping for a new sex toy.
When it feels like your libido has gone kaput never to return, it pays to give yourself some new and exciting reasons to think about getting sexy. Lingerie and sexy clothing is definitely a start. Sex toys are an even better idea, especially if you’ve already taken care of things in the apparel department. The more appealing the toy you choose really is, the more excited you’ll be about taking it for a spin.
While you’re certainly well within your rights to order a sex toy for your own private use, it’s worth mentioning that sex toys are even better when enjoyed together. Consider logging on to your favorite sex toy emporium and checking out their selection of couple’s toys. You’ll be able to choose from couple’s vibrators, cock rings, BDSM gear, and many other options that can help you both get a libido boost when it comes to your sex drives.
6. Spend all day working up to the main event.
When you spend your entire day thinking about work projects or child-rearing issues, that’s where your headspace is likely to still be at the end of the day. Naturally, Junior’s pressing need for new gym clothes or that big marketing project your boss just added to your workload aren’t really fodder for sexy thoughts! Making sure sex is part of the daily mix as well can really work wonders.
Instead of trying to force yourself or your partner into the mood from a cold start, try building anticipation and excitement all day long. Start your day by getting a little frisky or being a little flirtatious. Follow up with some light sexting, some naughty emails, or maybe even a racy selfie later on in the day. Wait for your partner to respond in kind and then keep it going all day long. You’ll be a lot more apt to want to rip each other’s clothes off later on. Try it and see!
7. Treat each other to some sensual massage.
Physical intimacy doesn’t have to start and stop at full-blown sex to give you a libido boost and keep you and your partner close. Sensual massages are absolute proof of that. The next time one of you has an especially long day at the office or at home with the kids, the other could offer a little TLC in the form of a soothing rubdown.
A wonderful massage can help work the kinks out of tired muscles and soothe frazzled nerves at the end of a tough day. The soothing touch of one’s partner can work wonders for the soul as well, not to mention put one in the mood for possibly taking things further. Try making your massages extra sensual and romantic by lighting candles and choosing a luxurious scented massage oil to use. At the very least, you’ll both come out of the experience feeling much more at peace.
8. Boost your libido with sexy visuals.
By now, you might be noticing a theme. The more you incorporate sex into the way you think on a daily basis, the easier it becomes to boost a tired libido and kick it into high gear. Sexy or romantic visuals can definitely help with that for both parties. Keep that in mind the next time the two of you sit down together to enjoy some visual media.
Naturally porn isn’t for everyone, but if you and your partner are game, try watching some together. Even if you weren’t anywhere close to being in the mood before, watching sexy people going at it full throttle can work wonders for changing that. Not really a porn person or in a relationship with someone who isn’t? Try picking out a love story or a sexy drama next time it’s your turn to pick something for movie night. They’ve been known to work a more subtle version of the same magic.
9. Give it the old college try.
Sometimes the best thing to do when you’re just not in the mood is to give things a chance anyway. Once things get going in the foreplay department, you’re likely to slowly find yourself getting on board with going all the way. Just take your time and don’t rush things.
Making it a point to have sex as often as possible also helps. It’s been scientifically proven that the more you have sex, the more you want to have sex. Sometimes all it takes is that first little push to get the ball rolling and keep it going strong. Why not give it a try for yourself tonight?