Switching things up in the bedroom now and then is definitely a necessity, especially if you’re serious about keeping things hot between the sheets after many years together. But contrary to popular belief, you don’t necessarily need to break out the whips and chains just to spice things up a little (unless you want to, that is).
Falling back on a classic move can be just as fun, hot, and exciting under the right circumstances. That said, when was the last time you treated your partner to a good, old-fashioned handjob? If it’s been a while, maybe it’s time to circle back. Here are some tips for doing it right.
1. Make sure you communicate
Communication is the key to any great sexual encounter, making it a must even if you’ve been with your partner a while. So even if you’re pretty sure you know how your partner likes his handjobs, take things slow if it’s been a while.
Ask him whether he likes what you’re doing, and invite him to guide you or tell you whether he wants anything specific. In addition to doing the obvious, you can also gently explore his balls, his perineum, or even his anal area if he’s okay with that.
2. Have him give you a demonstration
There’s nothing hotter than watching your partner masturbate, except for perhaps being the one to masturbate in front of your partner. So don’t be afraid to invite your partner to get the ball rolling by giving you a demonstration as to how it’s done.
Try standing in front of a mirror together with him in front. Let him start while you watch. Then place your hand over his to get a direct feel for the motion he’s using. Finally, when you’re both ready, finish him off with your own hand while you both admire the view in the mirror.
3. Try some toys on for size
Adult toys aren’t just great ways to take a woman’s pleasure to the next level and beyond when it’s sexy time. They can be just as beneficial for a man’s anatomy – especially when it comes to upgrading a treat like a handjob – so don’t be afraid to bring toys into your own routine and give them a try.
Simple textured strokers can add additional sensation to a standard handjob. (Just add a little lube, and enjoy the fireworks.) But small vibrators, anal toys, prostate stimulators, and other options all bring their own brand of oomph to the table, as well.
4. Mix up your speed
Elements like pressure, speed, or rhythm can truly make or break a handjob, so it’s important to pay attention to how you’re approaching each. A penis needs, likes, and deserves the same amount of tender loving care a vagina does, so don’t assume that his being hard means it’s time to grab him roughly and start yanking away.
Start slow, steady, and gentle. Then, gradually get faster, firmer, and more insistent from there. Pay close attention to how his body responds to different things you try, as well as listen closely to the way he moans and breathes as you proceed. Respond accordingly.
5. Don’t overlook lube
Although it’s possible to give a terrific handjob in a pinch without lube, it brings way too much to the table to ignore it entirely. Ask any guy what he thinks, and he’ll tell you that a little lubrication is the key to taking any handjob from pretty good to genuinely mind-blowing.
If you’re using toys or condoms, it’s important to make sure the lube you pick is compatible with those things. But if you’re not, you should definitely at least try a silicone lube or a hybrid option. Silicones and hybrids offer an incredible degree of glide without becoming too slick or overpowering.
6. Give his entire penis some love
Just as women often like being touched, kissed, or licked other places besides just their clitorises when their partners pleasure them orally or manually, guys like it when their lovers bring their entire penis into play while giving a handjob. Because giving a great handjob is really about more than simply jerking a guy off.
Yes, the tip of the penis is super sensitive and feels great when someone focuses on it in just the right way. But so is the shaft, as well as many of the areas surrounding the penis. Get as many of those sensitive nerve endings involved as you can, and as always, stay dialed in as far as your partner’s reactions to things you try.
Ultimately, handjobs are among the more underrated, underutilized bedroom moves out there. But their versatility, familiarity, and effectiveness make them enjoyable and accessible to just about everyone. So why not try one tonight? You just might be glad you did.
