There’s nothing wrong with having, liking, or even preferring traditional vanilla sex. To be fair, it’s what most people are having most of the time, and it’s so much more satisfying than most people give it credit for. But even close couples who have fantastic sex, as a rule, may sometimes feel the need to kink things up occasionally. And guess what? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, either.
You’re allowed to be sexually curious.
Not everyone has the most positive attitude about the need to “spice things up” now and again. Some think that if the everyday sex you’re already having isn’t positively explosive without having to work at it, something’s wrong with you or with your relationship. The same goes for any interest in experimentation or curiosity when it comes to even mild kink.
The thing is, kink doesn’t have to mean breaking out the ball gags, whips, and chains so you and your partner can go full BDSM on each other. There’s a lot that technically counts as soft kink that would fit comfortably into almost anyone’s vanilla routine. Here are a few ideas to consider the next time you feel like thinking slightly outside the box.
1. Go ahead and get a little wet.
Simple location changes can work wonders for an otherwise satisfying sex life that’s been a little stale lately. No need to overthink things, though. Water sex can be a wonderfully sensual way to make your lovemaking feel like new again without going too far off the beaten trail.
If you’re up for it, the ocean, the hot tub, or a pool are all terrific places to try if the mood should strike. But a shower quickie in the morning or slow, sensual lovemaking in the tub can be just as effective – especially if you don’t usually get it on there.
2. Play a naughty version of Truth or Dare.
When was the last time you and your partner swapped naughty confessions? How about pet fantasies you like to entertain when you’re alone? Those things tend to make their way into conversation a lot more often when you’re first dating than they might when you’ve been married for years.
If you’re not entirely comfortable straight-up sitting down together to discuss each other’s fantasies, try letting a relaxed evening at home transition into a spicy game of Truth or Dare instead. It’s a great way to introduce some kink into your routine in a fun, playful way. So is strip poker.
3. Take your play outside.
Public sex can be an incredible turn-on for many couples, but not everyone’s down to try it. While the risk of getting caught is what makes it hot, the reality (should it happen) is quite the opposite. It’s easy enough to enjoy the thrill without all the anxiety, though.
Pick a nice spot to hang out outdoors where you can watch the sun go down and the stars come out together — someplace relatively private or isolated, like a rooftop or a remote campsite. Make out or enjoy some R-rated groping if you’re not comfortable having all-out sex. You may want to keep your eyes open for opportunities to pull over for a naughty pit stop the next time you’re on a road trip, as well.
4. Add a toy to the mix.
Sex toys aren’t just for single people anymore. Many couples are getting on board with the idea of a little toy-assisted fun, as well, and it’s not just the kinky folks. There are plenty of options out there on the market these days that fit wonderfully into vanilla couple’s play, including many that were specifically designed to enhance the intercourse you’re already having.
If you’re new to toys and not comfortable with the idea of using a vibrator together yet, there are plenty of non-motorized toys that can be real game changers. Silicone cock rings are a great example. When you’re ready, you can explore the world of vibrators a bit at a time. Start with vibrating cock rings or magic bullets, and work your way up to wearable vibes made for couples.
5. Watch yourselves get it on.
You might be surprised just how much of a turn-on it is to watch yourself and your partner enjoying one another. Consider moving a full-length mirror close enough to the bed so that you can watch yourselves as you make love. Then, if you like what you see, you can up the ante to creating homemade porn to enjoy together.
There’s no right or wrong way to incorporate little touches of kink into your relationship, as a little really does go a long way. Just try things as you become comfortable with new ideas and learn more about what you each like.